1 | TREPIDATION. [SPENCER REID]

SIX.

SIX ; SAUDADE.

A wicked grin appears on his face.

He sees the trepidation in Jonah Grey's eyes and a sick sense of pride washes over him. Grey's hands are bound together with a spiked zip tie, an invention Lawrence had created himself. He nods to Nelson, signaling for him to put the blindfold over his eyes. Nelson obliges, tying the black cloth behind Grey's head.

The last thing the hostage sees is Joseph Lawrence's malicious smile and daunting eyes.

The leader throws Grey to the floor of the van. He's laid next to his potential wife. Leslie Sawyer screams into the gag that had been forced into her mouth as she feels Jonah next to her.

They're barely touching arms. She can feel the wetness of his blood.

A door slams. The muffled screaming is replaced with suppressed cries. The car is ignited and Nelson takes off with a start. The two hostages inch closer to each other. The search for familiarity lies in how truly unsafe they know they are.

Masters watches the couple from his computer station in the car. There's a sudden ache in his chest, an emotion he's unable to identify. Perhaps he's feeling pity. Perhaps he's feeling regret.

Perhaps it's saudade. He's only able to use that word correctly because of her.

The word has a Portuguese origin, she said him one day. They had been discussing things they missed. He'd told her his father. She'd told him her parents. I came across it in a book one day. Her eyes had flicked toward the door their boss had recently exited. It's the single word that describes the feeling of missing something or someone. It evokes a sense of loneliness or incompleteness.

Perhaps Kyle Masters missed Quinn Carson.

She was his calm through the storm. She kept him at bay from doing something irrational. Something that would get him killed.

Masters had joined the Horsemen as a vigilante, coincidentally meeting Lawrence at a bar one night. Lawrence had talked him into joining Peterson, Nelson and himself in a group. Masters accepted the offer.

He thought the Horsemen was what he wanted years ago. But now, he wasn't so sure.

Quinn was independent. Lawrence knew she could never be truly loyal to the group. Kyle admired that.

But he would never be able to act on his doubts. Not if he wanted to survive. Not if he wanted Quinn to survive.

As he looked away from the bounded couple, his heart began to ache. He was the one to throw Quinn to the FBI. He knew she'd be able to walk free if they did so. He knew she'd help the FBI. He knew she was smart enough to figure out the endgame Lawrence refused to tell her. He knew she'd be safe. He knew she had to be safe. He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if she wasn't.