Cognitive

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Dad's been "back" for about 3 days now and Avery hasn't talked to him yet. All she does is stay in her room, she hasn't even bothered to come eat the occasional daily meals my mom cooks, but she's been snaking at the late mid night hours go the day. I've even tried bringing them up to her though, but she refuses. She won't talk to anybody but her boyfriend Dante, I can only get little mumbles out of her. Tyler has been exactly the same, I mean the only difference with him is that instead of being in his room he's spending 75% of his time in the workout room punching boxing bags and the other 25% in the studio; he's eaten though. And for Dathan and Jhene all I know is Jhene fainted on stage the other day when she got the news, we tried to go she her but she requested no one being allowed to visit her except Dathan. I don't blame her though because Dathan said the doctors said that her fainting had to do with stress; and as of now that's all this family seams to be. We've also been all over the news, not just dad and him coming back but Jhene's fainting and new album coming out, Dathan's album, Tyler's returning from jail and what's his next "move" and is he going to drop the album he was talking about releasing before the arrest. Mom's also on there too because everybody wants to know if her and Dad are getting back together; Robins not happy about any of this either, he left her and I haven't seen him since. We're also on all the magazines; People, Vogue, Time and Insider I mean if you named it we're on it. There's also been the topic on rather or not Dad will be sent to prison for this but turns on his death was never finalized. On the other had I'm getting closer to him than I thought I'd be in these 3 days, to think I'd resent him for not being in my life but he's even met KJ, it wasn't planned but I went perfect like it was and he likes him.

"Avery open up" I said knocking on her door because our mom wanted her.

She didn't answer.

"Avery just come on, mom wants you"

She didn't answer again so I went in. She wasn't in her room but her bathroom door was cracked with a stream of light shining out. As I walked up to it I could see her bundled up by the side of the filled up bathtub; the water was red and so was the blood the streamed from her wrist onto her mid-leg. This scene was all to familiar to me judging that I've been in the same position many times before. I opened the door slowly with tears in my eyes causing her head to shoot up.

"Ava..." I whispered.

"W-What are you doing in here?" She said taking dominance over my small whisper.

"W-Why are you doing this?"

"I think we both know the answer to that"

I sighed and sat on the floor besides her slowly being to cradle her in my arms.

"Please don't feel sorry for me... They did it to me" she said crying.

"Who's they?" I said clearly knowing but just wanting reassurance.

"The voices...."

I ended up getting a wet wash cloth and cleaning her cuts even though she begged and pleaded for me not to, I also called Dante and told him what was going on and he was here before I could get off the phone with him. He ended up talking to her and he told me she sweared she wouldn't do it again if he just dropped the topic. Now I'm washing out my shirt to try to free it from the blood substance, I'm probably just going to trow it out though, it has to many bad memories already and it was only one incident. I'm determine to help Avery get out of this funky though and help her with self-harm because as I cleaned her arms I could see the scars and this isn't the first time she's done it, the scars were not from these last 3 days either, they're from before.. I also feel like I have to help her not only because she's my sister but because she helped me getting over self-harm and depression. But I'm not going to act like I haven't thought about it these past few weeks either, I even went as far as taking the blade out of me sharpener that I used to use when I had the interest of drawing. I only stopped when I got a call from KJ and talked to him about it. He said that I'll always have him to talk to, and if he's not there God is.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 05, 2013 ⏰

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