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I know that I'm fading. My life feels hopeless.  There were so many things that i wanted to do in life but never accomplished i wanted to swim with the dolphins in the great coral reef or go bunjijumping, visit new York with my best friend, go to the light show in china or get a matching tattoo with my boyfriend but none of those things will never come true. I feel my life being dragged into a heavy dream. Its effort trying to open my eyes everyday. I don't know how it has been since i first came here. It could be days, months or even a few hours but my life feels shorter each time i open my eyes. 

I always thought death would be scary but it feels good. i keep having flashes of my life. They are so confusing. One minute I'm a baby the next I'm at work but the last flash back scared me. It felt different, normally when im having a flash back it feels peaceful and its almost like i chose to see the flash back but the last one it felt like i was being drowned and i couldn't breathe. It felt hot and cold at the same time. My body felt exposed. My eyes were stinging as if i had pins and needles on my eyes. My legs ached and i couldn't fathom why this flash back was so painful but that was until i saw the flashback. ***

My books tumbled to the floor as i was nudged by someone behind me. My morning was crap and this did just added to it. I turned to look who had nudged me and i was surprised to see an unfamiliar face staring back at me. "Hi, Natasha." she said extending her arm. I looked at her before turning my back.

"That's rude." she said pulling into a pout. I took a minute to examine what she was wearing and god she looked good. She was wearing a crop top and and a black pencil skirt. Her eye were an amazing shade of blue which looked amazing with her curly brown hair. I felt jealous just looking at her.

"Like what you see?" She said noticing that i was staring at her.

"I have a boyfriend, thanks" I said turning around, i was not in the mood to talk to a bitch so early in the morning. Just as i walked away i saw my boyfriend walking toward me with a bunch of flowers. 

"babe" He said scooping me in his arms and kissing my neck. He was the reason i looked forward to school everyday. "Happy 1st anniversary."  shit how could i forget our anniversary. I was about to break into an explanation to why i didn't get him a present when he nuzzled his head in my neck. "I'm so sorry babe" I said knowing how much he had looked forward to this but i still forgot. I must have been the shittest girlfriend ever.

"Well that was stupid wasn't it." Natasha said looking Josh with lust in her eyes. 

"What was?" I questioned knowing fully well what she was going to reply.

"You forgot your anniversary. You such a crap girlfriend." What was she doing. Here first day at a new school and she was already trying to grab my boyfriend away. I was ready to lunge on her and hank out her golden Brown hair but Josh held me back. even with the devilish glare that i gave her she still continued, she was brave messing with the popular girl in school. "Josh if i was your girlfriend i wouldn't forget our anniversary, i would love you and make sure i look good for you not like her." Her eyes scanned what i was wearing and i knew that today was the worst day. I looked awful in plain black jeans and a white top. I had spent the whole night doing my history project that i barely slept 2 hours but that was no excuse for leaving Josh's present or looking like a tramp at school. This was going to be a long day. 

***12:15

It was lunch and i was feeling ready to go home but i still had 4 hours to go. I headed to the bathroom to fix my makeup but entering i saw Natasha aplying her makeup carefully. 

"Good to see you." She said smirking at me.

"Look I'm seriously not in the mood for bullshit at the moment okay."

"Well it's not my fault i would be a better girlfriend for Josh. You know it." fter she said that it took me a minute to function what she had said. I turned to look at her pretty face smirking and i lost it. I jumped on her and she was on the floor, her head going down with a loud bang. I saw the surprise in her eyes and i couldn't stop. She was stronger than she looked, She tugged at my hair and kicked me off her, 

"What was that?" she said pulling down her skirt. 

"Its called payback. You don't mess with me. Understand. This is my school, go back where you came from." there was anger in my voice but also jealousy. My own worst enemies.  She sprang on me like a tiger and was on top of my punching me with all strength. I tasted blood and was soon punching back but harder. 

"You bitch!" i said angry and i looked as if i was going to kill. he stepped back and i knew i had her scared. "Josh is my boyfriend and don't you dare try and move up on him or i will be on your case. Got it?" I said looking at her. I could see now that she only had one blue eye, the other contact must have fallen out, like her dignity. "Try that again and next time you will be dead" I wiped the blood from my check,straight ed up my clothes and left the room slamming the door behind me. I was angry and furious, i felt very light headed and like i was going to faint.

I guess that when my headaches started. Natasha had banged my head and gave me cancer. Well i guess now that she had an advantage even if i did beat and threaten her. That flash back showed a different side to me, I had blocked it from my life and now it was back, laughing in my face. Natasha left the school the next day and was never heard of again. Jealousy lead me to do unthinkable things. I feel stupid looking back and thinking that i nearly killed Natasha out of pure jealousy. I don't know how i forgot that event but now its back it haunts me all the time. I hope the rest of my flash backs aren't like this.

***** Hey guys, haven't updated for a while. I hope this chapter is long. Im going on holiday so i won't be able to post for a while. I will try when i can but im not promising anything. Let me know what you think. Love you all. Hows your weeks been, Mine has been horrible and long but still smiling. What are you guys doing for Christmas?? Lots of you guys are now messaging me thats really good. Hope you all have an amazing christmas and a happy new years eve. Love you all. thank you all once again. Will update lots hen i get back from my holiday. N xx