(RIVALS) The Upside of Falling ✔️

Chapter 12: Regret

Becca

"Becca, my love, you need to wake up. You're going to be late for class!"

I unwillingly opened my eyes to the sound of my mother yelling and the bright ray of sunlight seeping in through my bedroom window. I felt groggy, confused and disoriented. And all those emotions didn't even compare to how hurt, embarrassed and sad I still felt.

The scene from Friday night, a mere three days ago, flashed into my head again for the billionth time. After the sudden shock wore off and I could sort through my emotions, I realized that the strongest thing I felt was disappointment. I wasn't angry or jealous. I was merely disappointed.

I truly believed that Brett was a good guy; that he was different. I allowed myself to get my hopes up and invest too much into our budding relationship. I expected too much from him and I backed myself into a corner where the only way out was going to hurt like hell.

I took a deep breath. I've been awake for a total of ten seconds and my mind was already running a mile a minute.

Taking my mind off of Brett and Jenny, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and sat upright. Going to school and having to face the two of them would be torture, but it would have to happen eventually and sooner was better than later.

Out of habit, I reached for my cellphone. One missed call from Brett and five texts. That was nothing compared to the hundreds he sent me Friday night. I felt bad ignoring him at first, but it quickly faded when the scenes from Jenny's bedroom infiltrated my mind.

I just needed some space to cool off, that was all. Now, Monday morning, I was feeling slightly better. The initial shock had worn off, but I still wasn't rejoicing at the thought of having to see them at school today.

I deleted the texts without a single glance and shut my phone off, placing it back on my dresser so I could focus on getting ready for school.

What if Brett still expected to drive me to class this morning?

The thought creeped into my mind and stayed there, causing my anxiety levels to raise rapidly. What if he showed up here this morning, waiting for me outside? He wouldn't....would he?

I rushed to get ready quickly, planning on leaving earlier so if Brett does show up, I would be long gone.

* * *

Rummaging through my locker, I put in my headphones to block out the whispers from the people around me. Some were watching with eager eyes, waiting for me to have some sort of emotional breakdown, others looked sympathetic -- their stare full of pity.

I couldn't decide which was worse.

My head was cast downwards, flipping through a notebook when a shadow fell over me. I knew it was him before I even looked, I could smell his cologne and feel his presence.

"Becca..." He whispered. His voice sounded strained, I could hear the pain in those two syllables. I shifted my head to the right, looking up at Brett through my lashes. He looked horrible. He was wearing a black hoodie, with the hood pulled up over his head. They few strands of hair that fell over his forehead were tangled in messy knots. A light beard decorated his jaw, he clearly hadn't bothered to shave. His appearance was alarming, but his eyes are what killed me. They were red and swollen, like he hadn't slept in days. They were full of pain. Full of regret.

"Please talk to me," his voice cracked on the last word, each heavy with desperation. He knew I was ignoring him.

I could feel myself caving and I didn't want to. I didn't want to be the weak girl that forgives him too easily just because he feels bad about his actions. He should feel bad. I had to distance myself from him quickly, I couldn't think straight.