The Winter Bride (TSBS-2) COMPLETED

Chapter Sixteen

You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.
-Unknown

Ashley Davis-Harris

The bitter wind swished on the window panes, but I felt nothing.

Confined in this penthouse, I felt nothing from where I was sitting on my most frequent spot in this whole place. A raised rectangular platform was on the front of the room, one side had no barrier to the first floor of the penthouse but the other side had whole floor to ceiling windows that acted as a barrier for me from the chilly wind outside. Sitting comfortably with my legs folded under me and my chin rested on the back of the settee, I gazed ahead with yearning.

I had hoped, snow would greet us early this time but November started and no sign of snow as par usual. As a child, I had been fascinated with snow like every other child but the feeling hadn't died down after I grew up. Snowflakes still brought out a rush of happiness from me and right now, I needed that happiness more than ever.

How did my life get here?

It felt like yesterday when Eric had proposed to me and papa had been immensely happy. Such a joyous environment in the estate but now, joy bleed out and it was all because of me.

How was it my fault?

I knew Papa had done something terribly injustice with Neil. Papa, in my eyes, was a saint but Neil saw him different. What papa did had to be a major thing or else, Neil wouldn't be so hell bound on destroying my family. Even though, Neil was to be blamed for what he did with papa and especially me, my thoughts were torn in between.

And it was all because of what I saw in my first meeting with Neil Harris. Whenever I think of cursing Neil for all the things he had done with me and my family, his anguish look would flash back to me. It was when he had been so into his past and bruised my jaw in accident. It brought out a feeling of tenderness from within me which was quite shocking since all he did was hurt me but still, the look of anguish that had appeared on his face will forever be sketched into my head.

Mama always said, I was too good for myself and I had never believed that to be true until now. Feeling compassionate to the man who threatened me into marrying him and destroyed any ties with my family, wasn't what any normal, sane person would do yet I still did.

Mama...

Who was that woman? Was she even the Mama I grew up knowing? She couldn't be. The things she said to me were unlike the things my Mama would ever utter from her very aristocratic mouth. In aristocracy, family name was held above all and there she was, asking me to abandon my family and live my life with my own terms.

Live...

For all my life, I had known to serve the family name and never tarnish what's the ancestors build. That was the definition of living to me but I had already tarnished my family's reputation and their trust in me. Now, I couldn't even recognize myself.

Locking my eyes with the reflected pair of eyes on the window pane, I mouthed. "So, how can I live, Mama? I don't even know how to."

The elevator dinged and then, the main door opened. I knew who entered but I didn't right my seating nor did I turn. My heart beat increased as the footsteps reached closer to me. I could feel his figure standing by me, his gaze on me then something dropped on my lap.

I looked down and found many brochures of....colleges? I frowned and lifted my head, finding his indifferent expression on me. My eyes strayed all over of him, his one hand in his pocket and other holding his suit jacket over his shoulder, few buttons on his grey shirt opened carelessly. The hard panels of his upper chest were visible, making me stumble in my vision.