Breaking Her Rules

Chapter 31

It's hard waking up on the first day of school after winter break. I was used to snuggling in bed until ten. It's cold getting out of the shower and I dress in my winter school uniform hastily. When I go into the kitchen, Dad has made coffee. Dan is sitting at the kitchen counter, hunched over his mug.

'Hey, Em,' Dad says cheerfully, handing me a cup of frothy coffee. I sit down next to Dan, and glance between my brother and father.

Dad and Dan look so similar. Today they're wearing band shirts, stretched earrings and their curly brown hair pulled back into knots. But it makes me think about how much I don't really look like either of them.

I avert my father's gaze, drink my coffee quickly, and then slink back into my room.

At school, Julian is looking miserable. I ask him what's wrong.

'I didn't have a cigarette this morning,' he tells me.

'Well that's a good thing, isn't it?' I ask him.

Julian gives me a look. 'Really, Em? Because it doesn't feel like it.'

I roll my eyes. 'You don't need to smoke in the morning. It's gross.'

He rubs his eyes. 'It wakes me up, and it feels so good when it's so cold like this morning. But Findlay made some remark last night about how I must be awful to kiss because I smell like a dirty old man so I've decided to quit.'

'For good?'

Julian shrugs. 'I don't know how long this is going to last.'

'Well you can't smoke on school grounds, so you have no temptation today,' I say. 'Just make sure you don't have one when you get home from school.'

The day passes slowly. Two Prisley girls throw water on me in the bathrooms, which serves only to make me colder. I end up standing awkwardly under the hand dryer for about ten minutes. Then one of Duncan's minions steals my textbooks when I leave them on a table at lunch, which makes me ten minutes late for Chemistry. I'm used to this kind of treatment from the Prisleys. This was basically my whole grade ten existence. But at least then I had Watson backing me up at every turn. But today Watson is avoiding any contact with me.

When I get home, I'm ready for a hot shower and curling up in bed, flicking through my favourite travel blogs. But just as I'm pulling the blankets over me, I get a text message from Lucas.

"I'll pick you up at seven. I've got something to show you."

I swallow, looking at the text message. Lucas wants to pick me up?

I lie back on my bed and reread the text message until I know it off by heart before finally sending a pathetic, "ok".

When Dan asks me where I'm going I tell him Watson is picking me up and we're going for a drive. The lie feels sour in my mouth, and yet I don't want to deal with Dan's curious questions about Lucas.

As I wait on the low brick wall outside my house for Lucas, I have an internal battle as to whether or not I should actually be doing this. Getting in a car with Lucas? Lucas is supposed to be my worst enemy. What could he possibly have to show me? It's already getting dark and it's cold and it's a school night, and yet for some reason I've agreed to have Lucas pick me up. I have no idea what I have gotten myself into.

Lucas pulls up in a car that I recognise as the one his older brother used to own.

I swallow and take a moment to brace myself before opening the passenger door. Lucas doesn't say anything when I hop in. It feels so weird getting in his car. He has one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gearshift, and his knuckles are white because he's gripping hard. I put on my seat belt and as soon as I do he takes off. I can't say anything. Two Soap Dolls is blasting from the speaker system and it's too loud to talk over the top of it, so I just sit in silence and watch him drive. I like the way Lucas drives. He moves between gears smoothly and turns corners sharply, all without glancing at me once.