Jeff the Killer X blind reader

Chapter 9

      "Well, I... um... can't" I replied, turning my head down. My voice quieted to where I was almost talking to myself, "What will they think when they see me... like that?"
      They will see a force to respect and a soul no less troubled then their own. Slenderman answered, seeming to stare down at me. I knew he was right. Once they all know, there will be fewer secrets and fewer lies. Once they all see what I can do, I won't be afraid to do it in front of them anymore.
      But it was just so hard. I couldn't help thinking about the looks on my parents' faces, the stares of the other children, and the coldness of the scientists. I was a freak, a freak! I was a defect, a mistake to nature. In my mind, I knew they'd accept me – probably. There were different too, they could relate to my differences – probably. But there was a chance they wouldn't, and that is what I couldn't handle.
      I nervously bit my lip and shifted my weight, keeping my head down and to the side. I didn't want to conjure the darkness. In truth, I was hoping keep it a secret. If I didn't need to use it, I simply didn't. To be honest, it really scared me sometimes. I felt so... diseased and broken when I used it. Sure, in the moment of power it felt amazing but it just didn't feel like... well, didn't feel like me! And sometimes... sometimes the darkness can be so hard to control it backlashes at me or kills every living thing within a certain radius around me. Both scenarios are dangerous and painful, and should be avoided.
      I wanted to stay the quiet shy kid that liked a small knife. I wanted to stay marginal and in the background. Come to think of it, that's why I wore a plain mask and black clothing. I never wanted to stand out or to be the subject of conversations. I never asked to be so different.
      I timidly lifted my head to face the patient creature in front of me, taking a small step back as I shifted my weight again.
      "I just can't" I said, certainty in my voice. "At least, not right now." I added softly, tensing and wringing my hands uncomfortably in front of me. I almost felt the sigh Slenderman let out reverberate around me. He spoke quietly and for my mind alone.
      Just tell me when you are ready. He requested before reaching out with his hand. I flinched slightly as his hand rested on my small shoulder, a gesture of comfort though it had little emotion in it.
      "Thank you." I whispered quietly, holding myself in place. The being straightened up and took a step back before his presence teleported away. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and slowly ambled back to the house, head down and mood low. I felt all the presences that had been watching quickly disperse, going about their business. They became distant but I could still sense the disappointment and increased doubt that shrouded their thoughts. They leaked a terrible mixture of distrust and disapproval – all directed at me. It was contagious. I felt disappointed in myself for not doing what Slenderman asked. I was grateful and lucky he was so forgiving and patient, but I still felt like a failure. I doubted I'd ever really fit in here, but today just added to that feeling of disappointment. Life was so much easier when I was on my own.
      I was so wrapped in my thoughts as I neared the house, I didn't sense Jeff's approach. I turned my head up at the last second before he ran into me, tackling me to the ground and pressing a sharp knife to my throat.
      "Ha ha! Got you!" He exclaimed, lifting the knife from my skin. "I thought you said you always knew where I am?" He asked jokingly, grinning like a mad man. I twisted out of his hold and brushed myself off from the tackle, glaring in his direction.
      "I was thinking." I muttered before walking towards the house again, not meaning my voice to sound so angry. His mood immediately darkened as he trotted to keep up with me.
      "Hey... I didn't even break the skin, you should be proud!" He replied, trying to keep the conversation light.
      "Aren't you supposed to be resting?" I asked quietly, pushing the front door open and walking inside. He stopped following me and I could feel him trying to read my body language.
      "What happened back there?" He asked, still curious. I let out a tiny sigh and turned to face him, getting nervous again.
      "Slenderman and I won't be training for a while." I said. It was a simple and half-true answer. I hoped he'd drop the subject.
      "You piss him off or something?" Jeff asked, taking a few steps towards me.
      "Something like that." I murmured. I relaxed my shoulders and let out a breathy laugh. "It's been a lot to adjust to." I added, forcing my voice to be light and somewhat happy. Jeff's mood immediately rushed with relief in response to my change and he laughed.
       "It sure is! Though the food is probably better." He replied with a smile.
       "Yeah, I agree." I said, smiling genuinely. "I'm going to sleep for a bit, okay? I probably won't make it to dinner." I told Jeff, starting to walk again towards our room.
       "No problem, just be ready for training tomorrow! We got to work on your knife skills!" He called before striding towards the gaming room.

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Lil-magpie
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