Chapter 19

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      Life at the estate became much easier. So much easier.
      I didn't realize how heavily the secret of the dark power weighed on my shoulders. I didn't expect the immense pressure that lifted once everyone knew. I felt light, free, and happy for once in my life. Having the secret revealed was a blessing, it made the others somehow respect me. Even their suspicions slowly dried up. I was so encouraged after revealing that dark secret that I even contemplated showing at least Jeff what was under my mask... maybe telling him I was blind...
      But not now. Not now... not this minute. In a little bit! But not at this moment. I didn't want to ruin the good mood. I had just fixed the weakness problem I was having. With the ability, I was no longer a weakling. I wanted it to stay that way.
      If I showed Jeff the scars... the terrible burns... the misty eyes... Those pieces of me all showed weakness – vulnerability. I couldn't have him thinking those things again. I just couldn't! I didn't want to see him snap like that again. Never again.
      Over the next few weeks, I nearly forgot the tense conversation I overheard about the origin of the forest fire, the oncoming threat, and the possible snitch. It was pushed to the back of my mind by the now constant training with Slender and Jeff.
      My routine was simple. I would get up early, practice basic knife moves and breaking-and-entering homes with Jeff. Then, I would eat lunch and depart into the forest to practice my shadow ability with Slenderman. On most days, I had several onlookers from the house. There was a lot of curiosity and talk, but everyone was surprisingly respectful about my "gift" as they continued to call it.
      I was surprised. I honestly expected more distrust from them after revealing the power, but it had all but vanished from their minds. They must have known I was hiding something and that caused the distrustful feelings, not the power itself.

      Training with Slenderman was both nerve wracking and irreplaceable. He has shown me so much in the way of power, control, and mind reading. Everyday, we would practice something else. It had started with basic control of the darkness.
      It took many sessions, but I can now be 80% sure the shadows won't backlash at me when I use them. Slenderman was able to teach me how to disconnect the energy to the darkness before it could turn on me. That alone raised my confidence to be able to do other things.

      "Try again!" Jeff yelled from across the meadow, mind excited and open.
      "Really?" I called back, still tense and nervous.
      "Yeah! You have to get in somehow." Jeff replied. "What if the door is locked and there are no trees to climb? We'll need to get into the house without the residents waking. You could propel yourself up to the window and get in from there." Jeff explained. I heard the soft air movements around him change, so I know he was explaining this with his hands but I obviously couldn't see it.
      "Just try!" He pleaded from the sidelines. His interest with my "gift" hadn't dulled a bit. He was constantly asking me to try new moves and ideas of his. I thought it would be annoying, but I was strangely happy with his ideas. Though they almost always failed, his constant excitement with me was... reassuring. I found myself spending most of my time with him.
      "Ok! Ok!" I laughed back, breathing deeply. I tested my control as Slenderman had shown me, breathing deeply and letting the power grow and ebb with the breath. I had control, I could try this...
      "Here goes nothing..." I mumbled, making Jeff laugh lightly. His awareness was pinned on me, so I could sense from his mind whether or not my ability was working.
      I let some energy leak out of my system, infecting the shadows around us. They responded quickly, pooling towards my frame and beginning to swirl. Slenderman told me to limit the whirling pattern because that's when I lost control, so I focused on keeping the rings slow and lazy.
      Jeff had grown quiet, just silently watching the display. It felt weird to let him watch – to let him witness this part of myself. But I had come to accept it, and now I enjoyed it. He helps me more than he knows.
      "Left side." He called gently, informing me of a problem. I focused to my left and sure enough, a part of the darkness had gotten too fast. I cooled it down and took a steadying breath.
      I believed I was ready to try his suggestion. I pulled the shadows tighter, willing them to solidify. I took a solid stance, hoping to influence the power. The dark mist tightened and thickened, swirling down to my feet. I pulled upwards with the power and the shadows lifted. For a second, my feet left the ground.
      In that second, I lost a lot of physical information. I lost the earth's vibrations, the stability of gravity, the steadiness of the level ground. In the air, I couldn't 'see' anything. I couldn't feel any masses or vibrations. It was irrationally frightening to be suddenly detached from the earth.
      A yelp escaped from my throat as the shadows swirled out in response to my sudden fear, leaving me to tumble to the ground.
      Jeff's footfalls bounded closer, his laughter increasing in volume.
      "Almost! Almost _____!" He exclaimed happily. His hand found my arm and he dragged me into a standing position, making me stumble into his chest with the force of his pull. I felt heat under my mask as I untangled from him, laughing nervously. "You almost were airborne!" He informed me, his hand finding my back as he steered us back to the house. "We'll have to work on it though." He continued.
      "Yeah..." I mumbled, considering shaking off his touch. But, you know what? I'm tired of rejecting it. A little contact is normal, right?
      "We probably won't get it down before your first kill." He thought aloud. I perked up at the mention of an upcoming mission. I had been waiting for this. It was overdue.
      "Did Slender say anything about it?" I asked, interested.
      "Yep." Jeff said, the smile in his voice seeming to increase. His hand pushed lightly on my back, making me stumble forward. "It's with me!" He exclaimed, giddy with excitement.
      "With you?" I asked, not following.
      "Yep! I get to lead you on your first mission." He said, kind of proud about it. "Since I've trained you a lot, I figured I'd oversee your first kill." His mind became tense and oddly nervous though his voice hadn't changed. He still sounded joking. "Though, you know, we could always find someone else..."
      "No! That's quite alright." I said, smiling under my mask. His mind immediately calmed and he let out a silent breath.
      "Yeah... I usually work alone but I thought I'd make an exception for my ______!" He further explained, mind wide open. I almost stopped walking at that. Was that possession I detected in his voice? His mind had no possessive emotions; so then why did he refer to me as 'his'? Our conversation quickly moved on, so I decided to not bring it up. People slip up while talking all the time, right?




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Lil-magpie
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