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  Calvin and I's lives have completely changed since Liam had been with us

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  Calvin and I's lives have completely changed since Liam had been with us. A baby in our home has changed everything, the house is always a mess and it's louder than it used to be.

I knew that it would happen, but I never thought Liam would have to come live with me. Calvin and I wanted to have a baby eventually, and if we ever did- at least we would have months to prepare. Liam was out of the blue, but I want him here with me.

Quietly, I rest a sleeping Liam in his bed and sigh. He has had so much energy today, and once it was gone he was a nonstop fit of cries. I eventually got him to go to sleep, and hopefully he'll sleep long enough for me to get some rest.

He's been here for over a month, and he hasn't settled. Liam still looks for my mom, and often times even says her name as he cries. I don't know what to do- I got him a stuffed teddy with a picture of her and Ren in it, and that seems to make him feel a little better.

He shouldn't have to hurt this bad. He's a kid for crying out loud. Little kids are supposed to be happy and playful, but Liam is the opposite. I mean- he does have his happy times, but most of the time he's cranky or easily agitated at the smallest things.

I push hair from his face, taking in his features that resemble my mom so much. I miss her. More than anything.

Even Calvin was affected by what happened. He's been quiet, hardly ever talking about it, and never even glancing towards the picture of them framed on our wall in the bedroom. He's just as torn as I am, and I hate that I can't do anything about it.

I leave the room, careful of how quiet I am, and crack the door as I exit. This is the first night he'll be sleeping alone in his room, and I hope it isn't a mistake. Liam has been sleeping in bed between Cal and I.

Walking into my bedroom, I find it completely empty. Calvin's scent lingers, but the bathroom is just as empty as the bedroom. I call his name softly, and sigh in relief when I see him on the balcony.

The sun is setting, and the locusts have began their chirping. Cal stands, leaning over the railing and looking out at the woods. He hasn't been out in awhile.

"Cal?" I say softly, stepping out onto the balcony with him. As safe as this thing is, I hate going on it. They always scare me.

He takes in a deep breath and the cherry of a cigarette lights between his fingertips. Suddenly, I frown at the sight.

"You were doing so good-" I pout, he had quit awhile ago because of the little babies running around. Now, seeing him like this makes me more than upset.

He blows out the smoke away from me and then turns his attention to me. "I don't know what else you want me to do, Gray." His voice is monotone. I flinch at how emotionless he sounds.

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