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— "we're in a world of pure injustice!"
NOVEMBER 5: JEON JEONGGUK
==
coming back from his latest interrogation session, jeongguk feels empty.
it's not like he's necessarily sad, or even angry from all of these pointless police questionings (they've already gathered enough evidence to assume wonchol as the attacker, and each family has been notified of the situation): just blank. when he steps into a rain puddle on the street and water splashes all across the bottom of his joggers, he simply flicks his eyes up and continues walking. when his phone buzzes with notifications from his parents, asking if he's alright, what he's doing, is he eating well—he replies with nothing but a "fine" and a click of the power button. even the crackle of loud evening thunder doesn't faze him in the slightest.
lately, things seem almost unreal, like he's still in the process of waking up from a long, confusing dream. he's lethargic, unable to fully concentrate in his college classes. often times it's hard to keep a conversation with those around him. and that's the shitty part. hoseok, namjoon, seokjin, yoongi, and even jimin seem to feel much better than they did in useol, perhaps because of all the events that were happening around them; but jeongguk just can't. he can't feel better. it's like he's stuck in quicksand that is resilient in not allowing him to get back to his feet.
everyone is busy nowadays, too, which is reasonable; they've all missed so many days that the stack of work on their desks has practically tripled. but that doesn't mean to say that jeongguk is okay with it. i just want to...to grab dinner or something with my everyone. or watch a movie at the theater. hell, i just want to talk to someone.
the last time all six of them had been together in a place aside from the hospital was the night of the thirty-first, ironically enough. namjoon invited them all to his flat while mrs. kim and jae stayed with taehyung in the hospital, just to knock the nerves out of their system. and it worked. jeongguk can't recall the last time he'd ever laughed as hard as he did that night, just the slightest bit buzzed from alcohol and stale tortilla chips, or if his cheeks had ever hurt so much from grinning relentlessly. they shared embarrassing high school stories and sang off-key to decade-old ballads. and eventually, they cried. they spilled so many tears, pent up for weeks, and it was okay. they were okay. they all had shoulders to lean on.
jeongguk remembers a particular conversation from that night that resonates with him.
"i'm sorry," jimin had said, his back against the sofa as all of them sat on the floor, close enough to hear his quiet words. "for what i did that night, running after abraxas. it was selfish. i know that now. but i—i don't know, i guess i just...wanted to get revenge for everything it had done to taehyung, even at the expense of my own life. i was vengeance hungry. and i didn't think about the consequences, and i'm sorry."
