You're mine (#1)

||Chapter 34||

You'll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be  broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever  apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road  less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of  adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is  watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse  to fit in.

Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

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Damon
It has been the most happiest two months in my life, even though it  was hard to admit. All I could think about all day was the way Natalie  flips her hair, how her lips curve into a smile, how her cheeks blush,  the way she looks down when I compliment her... She's my perfection.

She  makes my life brighter- I even started to smile- and laugh- without  some dark reason. It's like she opened my eyes to the smallest things,  how the sun shines brightly in the morning, the feeling of coming home  after a hard day, the smell of the fresh night cold air...

She's my  drug. All I want to hear throughout the day is her laugh, so I could  look how her eyes close and her head leans back and her warm voice  enters my ears. I can't understand how I could have said and did all those horrible things to her, not noticing how fragile she really is. She has so much love to give- such much life to live... Yet I can't stop myself sometimes. From being over-protective, shouting at her or  snapping for the slightest of reasons. I'm trying, I really am, so much  that it's beyond frustrating when I give into my old habits- the cold  habits.

Because there's nothing worse than seeing the disappointment and hurt in her eyes. And today, I realized something. I can't let something bad happen to her ever again.

...

I  came from my company when the sun was setting down. I entered my  penthouse and was greeted happily by Natalie. I couldn't help smiling at  her, and then she threw herself into my arms. "I missed you." She  whispered and I chuckled in response. Someone missed me... The thought warmed my heart and soon we sat down to eat dinner.

I kept more distance today than usually and she must've noticed that. The atmosphere was more serious than usually.

She must've sensed something wrong, because for the first time in months, we ate in silence.

"How was your day?" She asked not looking at me, breaking the silence. I felt awful. "Alright. What about you? Is college hard?" I tried to sound  normal, warm, but my voice came up stone cold and Natalie quickly  looked into my eyes, and I knew what she was looking for.

For him.  The cold him. I quickly cleared my throat. "It's fine." She said  quietly as she lowered her head. I watched how she took a big sip of her  tea- the tea I made for her, and a familiar coldness entered me along  with hurt- something I haven't felt in a while. I followed it down her  throat.

"Will you walk with me?" I asked, my voice  stiff, knowing it won't be long now. She looked up in slight surprise  and I gave her a crooked smile. "Sure."

Natalie
It was in the fucking air.

Something was off.

I  felt anxious as we walked down the streets, usually he would take my  hand but right now he wouldn't even walk close enough to touch me. We  walked in silence.

Damon stopped in the middle of a  familiar bridge- I walked this way many times. He looked up into the  dark sky and I stood next to him. I looked around us- there was noone  here. I didn't understand what was bugging him, everything was great, we were great. I wished he could just spit it out, but I remained silent.

"I  love you, you know that, right?" He asked and I looked at him. "Of  course." I answered silently. "Then you should know I'll do anything to make you happy, and safe." I nodded my hard, not understanding where  this was going.

"I realized something today. I realized I hurt you, no  matter how much I try not to. I always end up snapping at you for no  reason or being so mean it hurt- I know it hurts you, I can see it in  your eyes. I was a fool to think I could change, to think you could  change me. In some way you did, but I love you too much for my  selfishness to keep you with me. You deserve to be loved in a better way  than I love you, you deserve to be happy. And I have so many enemies that are just like Oliver. I can't let something happen to you.

No, let me say this. I  thought about this hard, and I can only see one way this can go. I have  to let you go. Let you live. I owe you that much." The feeling of panic  filled me and I looked at him, hurt. "Don't say that. We can work this  out- I don't want to be without you, Damon, please-" He interrupted me  by kissing me deeply. I melted into his touch as he held both of my  cheeks with his big hands. I felt weirdly lightheaded.

"I  will never make you happy, Natalie. I could never marry you- have a  family with you. This isn't my world, it's not what I'm good at. I'm  good at being cold, harsh, selfish, proud. I''m so sorry I didn't  realize this sooner-" I gripped onto his shoulder for support. "Please  be happy, Natalie. Live like I was never here." With that, a single tear  rolled down my cheek and black spots appeared in my sight.

The  last thing I heard was his voice, no empathy or love filled it anymore,  just the coldness and harshness just like before. "Goodbye, Natalie."  Then I was swallowed into the darkness, but before that happened I realized something... he must've drugged me.