Alone Together

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"It's our old tree house" Gerard stated as the cork tree came into view; I smiled slightly at the fact he still remembered-Mikey said it's been a while since Gerard came here-and turned the car lights off just in case he actually was up there.
"Wait here" I told him as I turned the vehicle off and looked up at it through the window; I had parked about sixty feet away from it to keep a distance.
"But that's my brother"
"And I think at the moment he doesn't wanna see any family so it's better if I go, if something is wrong, I'll call for you" I reassured the black haired male in the passenger seat.
"Thank you"
"He's your best friend, obviously I'm gonna tell you" Gerard said nothing but his kind smile spoke for him so I got out of the drivers seat and closed the door quietly and began making my way towards the tree. I climbed up the stump and slowly opened the hatch to be met with silence which saddened me; I was hoping for Mikey to be up here and for us to be able to bring him home but I still crawled all the way inside to inspect which is when I found what I didn't think I would-Mikey. He was still very well alive but he was staring, at what? I had no clue so I crawled over to his curled up shaking frame in the corner and glided my hand over his arm to shake him out of his daydream but it only startled him.

"Mikey"
"Why are you here" he snapped.
"We want you to come home" I told him.
"And I want to die" he told me bitterly; I saw his cheeks were tear stained which told me he had been crying but I didn't point it out at the moment because I wanted nothing more than to push him over the edge.
"No you don't"
"Yes I do, I can't tie this and I'm so mad!" He screamed pulling up the rope he had thrown from over the treehouse; that's when it clicked. Mikey was going to kill himself up here and knew no one would find him because no one knew he still came here to hide out-it would've been a missing persons case and he would've decayed by the time someone actually did find him so they wouldn't be able to identify his body. He wanted to disappear.
"Mikey please throw that away"
"You don't get it, babe; I'm a burden. I bother everyone, I'm a waste of space, I'm fucking stupid, I can't do anything right and all I do is complain. I sound so whiny and annoying when I do it but I've reached my breaking point and everything that happens that's not necessarily good puts me in the worst mood and I just feel so low. I hate talking to Gerard about it because it just sounds like I'm trying to be him. Babe, I've nearly lost my brother twice because he decided to overdose and I always judged him and got mad at him for wanting to die yet here I am wanting the same thing, I'm an actual hypocrite and I hate myself" I said nothing but took the rope from his hands gently and tossed it over the wood and opened my arms for him to lay his head in my lap because I knew he needed someone at the moment.
"I hate myself" he whispered as his body started to shake again; he was crying but all I could do was rub his arm as a way of telling him it was okay to cry because I wasn't leaving.
"I know you do but I love you" I told him bending down to kiss his head.

He laid on me for who knows how long, ever so often he'd say hurtful things about himself and let out a whimper but eventually he calmed himself down to the point he was able to sit up and look at me.
"How are you so calm? So happy? You never get mad" he asked.
"I had my fair share of feeling miserable at one point, I still do but I learned to control it"
"How?"
"After my mom died, every little thing bothered me like she always called me Lynn so it took a long time to accept the fact people would call me that but to me, that was reserved for my mom. Parent teacher interviews in school were challenging too because my teachers always expected my mom to show up so my dad would have to explain that she wasn't in the picture anymore which upset me. Things like my piano recitals, soccer games and talent shows were stuff both my parents attended so to only see my dad and Seb in the crowd stung but I knew I didn't have a mother so I had to suck it up but after a couple years, I couldn't do it any longer so I stopped it all. Up until last year I'd say, I was a very upset and closed off person but I had to stop being like that because life still continued on without her, I just paused mine for her thinking she'd come back and she never did. Mikey, things that break and destroy you will always rebuild you, you just can't give up because if you do, you're letting it win but you're suppose to be strong and fight it"
"I'm not strong" he told me.
"Yes you are. You just don't see it like Gerard and I do"
"I don't wanna go home" he said ignoring my statement.
"Well you can't live out here, plus your mom has an entire search party and cops involved right now"
"So she only cares when I go missing. Hm, should've thought about that when I was little" he mumbled bitterly as he picked at his show lace.
"Gerard lectured her before we left. He cares so much about you, Mikes"
"I know he does, I love him" I smiled at the younger Way and looked down at the ground before sighing.

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