On Loving Paul [McLennon]

Apparently We CAN'T Keep a Secret

Paul and Stuart were sitting in the room that Paul and John shared, waiting for John and Ringo to return of the police station.

It wasn't until around midnight that they did. They entered the room and Paul and Stuart looked up expectantly, hoping to see George. Their faces fell in disappointment when they saw that he was not there.

"Well?" Stuart raised his eyebrows.

"They're not arresting him," Ringo said. "They're keeping him over night t he's being deported. They're sending him back to England in the morning."

"So, we have to go back to England?" Paul asked nervously.

John nodded slowly.

Stuart avoided looking at any of them. "I'm going to get some sleep," Stuart said and hurried off to the room he and George shared. The room felt empty and Stuart actually started to miss George - though the younger boy annoyed the hell out of him.

There was soon a knock at the door and Stuart, having not climbed into bed yet, opened it to find John standing in the hall. "What up?" Stuart questioned.

"Make sure you pack before you go to bed," John said. "We're leaving first thing tomorrow morning."

Stuart sighed heavily. "That's the thing, John....I'm not going with you."

John blinked several times, waiting for something to happen in stunned silence. Waiting for Stuart to laugh and say he was joking. But when that didn't happen, John spoke. "What the hell do you mean, Stu?"

"I...Astrid and I are getting married next month," Stuart said awkwardly. "I - I love her, John. She's amazing. And she loves me. We're soul mates."

John shook his head, unable to believe the words that were coming out of Stuart's mouth. "What about the band? You're just ditching us?"

"John, we both know that I'm no good." Stuart shook his head. "I'm an artist, not a musician. You won't go anywhere with me."

John crossed his arms. "You're one of my best mates, Stuart."

Stuart rolled his eyes and shook his head once more. "Paul's the only one you see, Johnny. He's the only one in your eyes."

"Ha!" John snorted. "He says the same thing about you!"

"Well, tell him to stop thinking that because it's absolutely ridiculous!" Saturday exclaimed, then dropped his voice to a whisper. "I know about the two of you, you know. I've known for a - "

John, eyes wide, grabbed Stuart by the front of his shirt and shoved him into the hotel room, slamming the door behind himself. "HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?!?"

"It's so obvious!" Stuart laughed. "The way the two of you act around each other, the way you just look at each other. When he's not looking, you look at him like he's the only person in the whole world that matters. And you don't realize it, but when you're not looking, he does the same to you."

John furrowed his brows. "Seriously, does everyone know about us being together? Have we completely failed at keeping it a secret?"

"Who else knows?" Stuart frowned.

"George," John sighed. "He told us about a month and a half ago, and - wait a second, I am angry with you!!"

"John, please try to understand!" Stuart cried. "I love her and I want - I NEED - to spend the rest of my life with her!!"

John just shook his head and turned to leave.

"WHAT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE BAND AND PAUL, HUH?!?" Stuart shouted as John placed his hand on the door knob. "WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THEN?!?!"

The slightly older musician froze, unable to deny that he would choose Paul in less than a heartbeat. But he didn't want to admit that Stuart was right, so he wrenched the knob and strode out of the room, kicking the door shut harshly with his foot.

He entered the room he shared with Paul and it was obvious that he was on edge. Paul and Ringo looked up, startled.

"What's wrong?" Paul stood up.

"Stuart isn't coming back to England with us," John huffed.

"What?" Ringo furrowed his brows.

"He's getting married," John shook his head. "Next month."

Paul gaped at him.

"Well, I have to go back to my hotel." Ringo sighed. "I'm...I'm really going to miss you all. Tell George I'll miss him a lot."

Paul nodded and patted Ringo on the shoulder. "We'll miss you, too, Ringo. But we'll see each other again...someday."

Ringo nodded and offered Paul a crooked smile. "I hope so. Good luck. Both of you. With everything."

"Thank you, Ringo." John said. "We really will miss you."

Ringo nodded again. "And I really will miss you." He patted Paul on the back then stood up and shook John's hand. "Goodbye," he waved his hand and left the room.

John strode over and locked the door, then turned to Paul. "Stuart knows about us being together,"

Paul's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "WHAT?! DOES EVERYONE KNOW?!?"

"That's what I said!" John shouted, then sighed heavily and flopped down on the bed beside where Paul sat. "Whatever. We'll be rid of him tomorrow morning."

"Are you alright, John?" Paul questioned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." John nodded, sitting up. "The real question is, are you alright?"

Paul frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "I - I suppose. I just really don't want to go back to England. It's not a good time for me to be there right now. It's bad enough that they let him out, now I have to be around him...at least I'll sleep better at night knowing that I can be there for Mike."

John nodded once more, slowly this time, and wrapped an arm around Paul.

"But I'll....I don't want to be anywhere near him," Paul shook his head, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. "I want to stay away. I want him gone. Locked away. Dead if it means I don't have to deal with him."

"I know, Paulie...." John frowned and wrapped his other arm around the younger musician, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I know."

"I - I just want to - " Paul choked back a sob. "I want to - be able to know th-that Mike and I are - aren't in dan-ger b-b-but I c-can't know that right now!"

John squeezed him tighter, trying to comfort him. "You're not going to get hurt, Paulie, do you hear me? I can promise you that. You and Mike are not in any danger as long as I'm around because if that bastard that dares call himself your father so much as tries to lay a finger on you, I'll kill him."

And that's when Paul lost it. He broke down in John's arms, sobbing. The night passed thus.