✿nine✿

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"Coffee in one hand, earphones in one ear
Walking through the wind as it passes through our fingers
Sharing ordinary habits with me
Someone to hold me when I'm done"

|♡|

There was no school today, and Louis was going to use the day to mope around in bed, and sob over how much he hates everything right now.

Niall and Harry were still together, apperently, and he heard rumors of them going to the Valentines dance next month. Louis despised that. He should be going to that dance with Harry. Not Niall. No, Niall should be the one wishing he were going with Harry, rather than that being Louis.

But low and behold, here Louis was, crying about it. Liam came in, brought him some water and then headed off to work, telling Louis he could call him if he needed anything. Louis just nodded, and turned over, and got back to rewatching 13 Reasons Why, for the fourteenth time since the show came on Netflix.

However, Louis' focus went to a picture that he still had of Harry and himself on his bedside dresser. It was from right before they broke up. Harry was kissing his cheek, and Louis' eyes were closed, a light blush on his cheeks. It's then that Louis begings to cry. And not because Hannah just said, "Why didn't you tell me that when I was alive?". Louis closed his laptop, and sat up, rubbing his eyes and taking a deep breath. What was happening with his life? Why was he lonely? Why was he even single? Oh yeah, that's right, because he wanted Harry. And only Harry.

What more can be said, he's a stubborn little boy.

Louis got out of bed, and stumbled around until he ended up in the bathroom. He went, primarily to shave, because he was beginning to grow a beard, due to a lack of shaving, and he didn't want a beard, but he also really needed to pee.

And that's when it happened. After washing his hands, Louis looked over at a broken razor in the corner, remembering the night he broke it. That night was last monday, the first day back from break.

Louis shook the urge away. He needed to stay clean. But oh, he had pleanty of reasons not to. No. Liam would check him like always, and there was no way he could get caught, he didn't need Liam stressing over him.

But then again, fuck Liam.

Louis grabbed a new razor, despretly in need of a shave. And began shaving, taking his mind of things, and focusing solely on getting a clean shave. But then he ran out of face to shave, and now his mind was brought back on the topic of relapsing.

No one would have to know. He could easily hide it with cover up, and maybe do it in a place Liam wouldn't think to check. Louis grabbed the small blade, and sat down on the floor, contemplating. The only pro to this, was feeling good. There were more cons than there were pros. And oh, what if Harry decided to hold on to his wrist too tight and rub against them and the friction opens them up?

Wait, why would Harry touch him?

"Fuck it." Louis mumbles under his breath, and begings rolling the sleeve of his shirt up, when he hears his phone ringing in his room, he drops the blade, and goes to get his phone. The screen lights up, and reads, "asshole that i'm in love with", and Louis automatically wants death, cause it's ten in the morning, why is Harry calling him?

"Hey Harry." he answers, and sits on the bed.

"Hey, Lou, how are you?" Louis almost melted, Harry had just woke up, and his morning voice always gave Louis little tiny orgasms.

"I uh - I'm fine, Harry. How are you?" Louis repled, voice soft.

"Do you uh, mind if I come over for a bit?" Harry asked, yawning.

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