The Multitudes Within Me (Sequel to The Sound of Ice)

2

My laptop hums, a black and white movie playing, the quality grainy and soft. I curl up against the pillows, the single bed squeaking.

The dorm room I share with Pierce is small and cramped - just two beds, two desks, and a small window that overlooks the quad. Textbooks are stacked in piles across the floor, and his varsity jacket is flung over his desk chair. Pierce is on the rowing team, which means his alarm goes off at five-thirty almost every morning.

My eyes start to droop, my breathing steadying. The words in the movie start to muffle, and my hand twitches with exhaustion - the dorm room door suddenly swings open loudly, and I sit up, the tranquility shattered.

"Hey," says Pierce.

I pull an earbud out of my ear, blinking awake. "Hey."

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's fine." I clear my throat and pause the movie, rubbing my face. "What time is it?"

"Like, eleven? Not that late." Pierce rubs a towel on his wet hair and sits at his desk, clicking a pen against the wood. Pierce is pretty popular - we're not that similar, him and I. But he's a good roommate.

"I'm leaving for a party," he says. "Down at the south end of campus."

"Okay."

"Just so you know, if I get in late. I'll try not to wake you up."

I slide my laptop on my desk and scratch my neck, glancing around the dorm. Pierce's side of the room is messier than mine - he has clothes kicked under the bed, and crumpled papers sprawled across his desk. We made a deal to keep our messes on our own sides of the room.

His wall is tacked up with photos - him and his girlfriend, him and the rowing team, him and his family - and a couple music album posters. He and his girlfriend, Laura, are a cute couple. They're complete opposites, her with pale skin and ginger hair, him with darker skin and black hair, but they fit so well together.

Pierce slips on his varsity jacket and pulls on boots, glancing at himself in the mirror. "See you later," he says, and then he's gone, silence falling over the dorm room again.

I switch off the lamp and flop on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. Lights from nearby buildings blink through the window and illuminate the wall opposite from my bed, casting distorted shadows. I turn on my side and curl my fingers under my cheek - I really am tired, god, I can feel it in my bones - I have a physics test tomorrow, and though it shouldn't be too hard, equations run through my brain - eventually I slip into unconsciousness.

Someone's screaming, a piercing sound, crying - "Sam!" -

My muscles constrict and I wake up with a jolt, sweaty, my mind racing, my throat sore. I push off the covers, squint at the alarm clock - one-thirty in the morning, Pierce must still be out. Take a deep breath. The fucking nightmares. Sometimes it's just bits and pieces - when I wake up, the dreams slip away like sand between my fingers. Better than remembering.

I push open the window and suck in oxygen, cold and crisp in my lungs, against my hot face. The sky is cloudy, a few stars poking out of the darkness - constellations run through my brain. I wish it wasn't so cloudy.

When my heart rate is back to normal and I don't feel so jittery, I sit on the edge of my bed and turn on my phone. Mrs. Beckett's nightly text message - Goodnight, honey! - makes my heart squeeze.

I rub my face and text Cameron.

hey

He texts back almost immediately.

hey yourself. can't sleep?

no

me neither. we have a big game tomorrow

you'll do so great, cam

we'll see :) miss you. a lot

I bite my fingernails and glance around the dorm room. I haven't seen him since August, almost two months ago. I've been watching his games - he's such a good player, of course, probably the best rookie in the entire league - but it's not the same.

i miss you too

~

I chew on the tip of my pen as students fill the lecture hall, peeling off jackets and unzipping backpacks. Dr. Howard is down on the floor, a million miles away, her posture sharp. Her dark hair is pulled up in a bun, and she flips through a textbook as the last of the students trinkle in through the door.

"We get our last tests back today," says Eliza. She's doodling a heart on her hand with a sparkly gel pen.

"Oh no."

"Please." Eliza rolls her eyes. "I'm sure you did great. You're one of the smartest freshman in this class."

I feel my face heat up. "That's not true."

Her eyes flicker to my face, and she grins. "Stop blushing!"

"I'm not." I am.

"Well, all I'm saying is you shouldn't worry."

My eyes slide across the lecture hall - it sits hundreds of students, it's the biggest class I take - and breathe deeply. The air smells of chalk and pencil shavings, like worn textbooks and the glue that binds the pages.

As Dr. Howard jumps into the lesson, I struggle to keep up my notes. She talks so fast, and so complicated. I know this is one of my hardest courses - but still, some small part of me hates that it's so difficult. I never struggled academically like this back in St. Anne. I don't know why everything feels like a failure. And failure stings.

The class finally ends, and I shake out my hand, cramped from clutching the pen so tight. My stomach twists as Mrs. Howard sends back our grades via our laptops - Eliza lets out a relieved sigh beside me.

"I got a B," she says, running her fingers through her hair, her face breaking into a wide smile. "Thank god! I was worried I did much worse."

I hurriedly click around on the website. My old laptop is so slow - please be an A -

"B," I say out loud. "I got a B too."

"Nice!" Eliza high-fives me, and I smile weakly. Does a B sting?

A/N 2 chapters today just to ~set the scene~ if ya feel. this is sam's story but cam obviously will very much be present (they'll reunite soon i promise! i miss him too lol) also i've written a bit more but i'm very bad at spacing out chapters, i just wanna throw all the feels at you guys at once ;) but i will restrain myself