The Multitudes Within Me (Sequel to The Sound of Ice)

33

While I wait to hear back from universities, George gives me a part-time job at the rink. I just clean up and answer the phone, and on a slow day, I buy a big calendar and organize every lesson and event. George laughs real loud and claps me on the back when he sees it.

"You're a wonder, Sam," he says, which makes me feel good.

I put down my pen - red for hockey lessons, blue for figure skating, green for birthday parties, purple for bigger events like a show or a tournament - and glance at him. "It's nothing, really."

"Don't know how I ran this place without you!"

He walks away, humming, and I smile. It feels good to succeed at something. Even something small.

~

Cameron leaves me, brushes past my shoulder without giving me a second glance, his face cold. He gets in a car with a guy, attractive and fully-gay, and they drive off as I scream at him to wait. And when I wake up, gasping for air, Cameron is asleep beside me. The moonlight catches on his face, and his chest rises slowly, steadily.

I trace my fingers through Cam's hair as my heartbeat settles. That was the first nightmare I've had in awhile. I've been having less of those lately. I close my eyes and try to match my breathing to his until I fall back asleep.

We're doing much better, Cam and I. Elizabeth says all relationships are put to the test sometimes. I still see her twice a week. Sometimes I'm sad, or nauseous and tired from the antidepressants, but other days I'm genuinely happy. Usually after a shift with George, or before one of Cam's games. Or when I spend time with the Becketts, which is most of the time. Veronica keeps practicing makeup on me. I don't mind it. Cameron says I look like a model. I think he's lying.

January freezes into February, and on the first Friday night, the whole family - besides Tom, who decides to stay home and rest but insists on us having fun - goes to the city to figure skate. The outdoor rink downtown is famous, city lights and the glowing Toronto sign reflecting on the ice.

The rink is fairly busy, the night air cold and crisp, and I breathe it in. Toronto is lit up and alive, skyscrapers stretching towards the moon. Hailey and I sit on a bench as Cameron laces our skates, and I lean back on my hands and watch couples and families skate on the ice. Around us, people drink steaming hot chocolate and share poutine.

"I'm gonna do a jump," Hailey says beside me. She's wearing a blue knit hat, so big is nearly falls in front of her eyes. "Like the Olympics. You gotta watch me, Sam."

"Okay, I'll watch you. Promise."

"You want to skate with me?"

"Of course!"

She slips her mittened hand into mine, and Cameron winks as he finishes tying our skates. Hailey and I circle the rink a few times, and she laughs and nearly pulls me down with her when she stumbles. It's freezing outside, but I don't really mind it. Hailey makes me smile. Cameron skates up to us after awhile, unbelievably graceful on the ice, of course, his hands in his coat pockets.

"Can I steal him, Hailey?"

She pouts. "No fair."

"Mom is standing over there with hot chocolate, if you want some."

She thinks it over. "Okay. Fine. But we're skating more together later."

She toddles to the boards where Ms. Beckett is watching, and Cameron takes my hand. I lean into his shoulder. "So," he says, and I glance at his face, olive skin washed over in blue and white lights. He smiles handsomely, cheeks flushed from the bitter breeze. "We're skating together."