The Multitudes Within Me (Sequel to The Sound of Ice)

22

The first arms I fall into are Cameron's.

"I got you," he whispers in my ear. "You're home."

The airport doesn't feel like home - loud and unwelcoming, sharp colors and frantic travellers.

He hugs me tight and kisses my cheek, and I close my eyes against his shoulder. He smells like soap and hockey rinks, his sweatshirt soft against my skin, his warm arms wrapped around me.

"You're okay," he whispers. "Okay?"

I don't want him to let me go, but he does, and Ms. Beckett hugs me next.

"Oh, Sam!" she says, pulling me tight. The familiar scent of the Cameron's house clings to her sweater, and I inhale deeply. "We missed you, honey. We're glad you're here. You must be exhausted. Let's grab your luggage and head home."

"Are we going to see Tom?"

"Yes, I was thinking we can just run by the house quick. You can shower, if you'd like, and we can grab a quick bite to eat before heading to the hospital? I don't want you to worry too much, Sam. The doctors will tell us more when we're there, alright?"

People always tell me that - don't worry too much. But I'm much too tired to do anything else.

Cameron doesn't leave me side, his fingers intertwined through mine as we get my suitcase. I feel his eyes on me, worried. He's so solid and real, next to me, it feels like a dream. "You look tired."

"Haven't slept much this week."

"How were exams?"

"Fine," I say. I ignore the fact that I skipped my most important exam. An automatic 0. One way or another, I was destined to fail.

He squeezes my hand, and a fresh wave of guilt courses through my veins. Cameron, I kissed a girl. He would never forgive me.

The ride home to St. Anne's is long and exhausting - Cameron sits in the backseat with me, and while I turn away from him, staring out the window, I jolt awake later with my head on his shoulder.

"We're here," he says softly.

St. Anne. Kids playing hockey in the streets, old-fashioned homes, the smoke from the factories. The sky is a dusty grey, like it normally is in the winter, and our street is just like I remembered - the corner store, old railroad tracks, chipped concrete, Cameron's cozy home. I ignore my own house, the windows dark and sad, like it hasn't had an occupant in years.

I drag my suitcase up the brick steps and Mrs. Beckett unlocks the front door. I've barely stepped inside when Hailey throws herself at me.

"Sam!" she shrieks. She's gotten bigger, swallowed by a large red sweatshirt, her blonde hair pulled up in a messy ponytail. She presses her cheek against my own as I pick her up, watching Cameron smile sadly at me.

"I missed you so much, Hailey," I say.

Veronica is next, and she kisses my cheek. "Welcome home," she says. She's chopped her hair - it's short now, tucked behind her ears, falling just above her shoulders. Her eyes are so similar to Cameron's, it's striking - and they are looking at me the same way. And I feel so incredibly sad.

"I missed you all so much," I say, feeling my cheeks begin to heat, pulling my sweatshirt sleeves over my hands. "So much."

Ms. Beckett waves me towards the kitchen. "Oh, Sam, we missed you too. You're family. Come on, there's leftover meatloaf. Have a bite before we head out, you must be starving."

I'm not, really. I think of the scrambled eggs Eliza forced me to eat this morning and my stomach churns. The exam is probably over by now. "Oh -"

Cameron saves me. "Let's bring your suitcase to the bedroom, first," he says. He picks up my suitcase for me and I follow him down the hallway, and like I'm in a trance, my feet know where to go.