Together (Larry Stylinson) ✅

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Harry's POV

"Hey, thanks for meeting me, Ni," I said, lazily browsing through the menu. I had just dropped Louis off at the airport and was feeling more lost and confused than I had expected to. Our relationship over the past few weeks has been so tumultuous, so complex. I tried to offer Louis my full support, I tried to apologize, though Louis wasn't having any of it. And somehow, over time, Louis' I-hate-you's turned to I-love-you's and we were getting intimate again.

But there was still no clearcut concept of what we were, of what we had. We both loved each other yes, but we also both wanted to Louis to get better. And that was the priority right now.

"No worries, mate," Niall said with a grin, placing his menu on the table as he decided what he wanted. My eyes lingered on the BLT sandwich with mayo, my absolute favorite, but something inside told me to get a healthier option, perhaps a whole wheat wrap. After all these years, the voice was still there and maybe even more so now that I was immersing myself in Louis' eating struggles.

I told the voice to go fuck itself, and asked the waitress a little while later for the BLT. But I knew there would be guilt after. There always was.

After I placed my order, Niall ordered a pulled pork sandwich and we handed our menus back to the waitress, who was clicking her pen in impatience. When she left us alone, he returned his attention to me. "So how did it go today?" he asked, his facial expression neutral. He probably wasn't sure if he should be happy or sad for me in this moment. Honestly, neither was I...

"It went well. He was sleepy and didn't talk much on the ride over, but he said he's going to keep in touch. Said he loves me. Kissed me too," I explained to Niall with a tiny smile. He watched me intently with his deep blue eyes, grinning when he caught me smile.

" I'm just really gonna miss him, but I know this is for the best. I know he needs help," I continued, hoping to prove to myself that it really was for the best, that there was nothing to be sad about.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you'll miss him, Haz. It's normal. You're allowed to miss him, don't feel guilty," Niall said, reaching across the table and giving me a pat on the shoulder. "Also, that's great you guys ended on such a positive note. Have you spoken about what's next for you two?"

I shrugged. "I really... I haven't been wanting to pressure him. There have been so many ups and downs these past few weeks. Like, we went to get coffee and just talk. And I texted you about how that went... and what I told him... and the sex after. I mean, you know what happened, Ni. Don't wanna repeat myself. But just seeing him so sick, so helpless. He asked me to leave so many times and just ended up collapsing onto my chest and crying. I have to be so gentle with him... he's so delicate..."

Niall nodded and took a sip of his water. Based on the painful expression on his face, it was clear that Niall had experience with the type of fragility I was describing. "I know, mate. It's rough. I remember when you were that delicate. It was like walking on eggshells. One wrong move, one wrong restaurant or comment could send you into a breakdown... I always felt so scared. I never wanted to hurt you," Niall admitted, tiny tears welling in his eyes.

I stared at Niall, almost in shock. I had known my eating disorder had put a strain on my friendships, fuck it had even ended some of them. But I didn't know it had affected Niall this badly. He had never told me that.

"I mean, don't get me wrong lad. I was never upset with you. I knew it wasn't your fault at all. I just felt scared. Like I wanted to help you but didn't know how," he added, his face reddening.

"No, Ni. It's okay. I understand. Thanks for telling that, mate. Honestly, I feel the very same way right now with Lou. And I guess I never realized how fragile and easy to upset I was all those years ago... but thank you for sticking around through it," I said with a teary smile.

This deli/diner wasn't really the ideal setting to be having a heart to heart, but hey, it was happening. Niall was my best friend and if we wanted to hug it out we would. Which is why, in the middle of the diner, I stood up and pulled him into a big bear hug, lifting him off the ground a little for dramatic effect.

"Okay, Styles. I know you're taller than me, but put me down!" Niall cried, hitting my back. I laughed and let him go, returning to my seat to find that the waitress was coming back with our food. Just in time.

"So yeah. I think you should give him some time. No big decisions. He's still trying to learn to trust you again. I would really play it by ear. I know you hate waiting, but it seems smart," Niall said, pouring barbecue sauce onto his sandwich before replacing the bun.

"No. You're right. I'll wait for sure. I don't want to, but it's what Louis needs right now," I said as I took a bite of the BLT. It was so good, exactly what I had been craving. I just wish the voice wouldn't have to ruin the moment by nagging me later when my next meal arrived.

'You had such an unhealthy lunch, get a salad for dinner....' Some days, when I heard my disordered thoughts telling me things like that, I told them to fuck off and ate whatever the hell I wanted. Other days, I wasn't so strong. There are good and bad days in recovery -- and yeah it's been two years, but I'm still fucking recovering from that shit. I was just hoping today would be a good day.

"Exactly," Niall said as he devoured his sandwich. "So what do you say we get pints tonight? I'm going to bring Allie this time. Want you to meet her!"

I nodded, smiling as I remembered Niall's current girlfriend and how highly he had spoken of her. Based on their social media posts, they looked super cute together, but I'm sure they would seem even better together in person.

"Of course. Can't wait, lad!" I said. I smiled at Niall, for a moment feeling nothing but happiness and joy for my friend. I was glad he had a girlfriend, excited that things were finally working out for him, after years of bouncing from one bad relationship to the next. But deep down, I just wished that Louis could be there too to join in the festivities at the bar. Instead, he was 3,000 miles being admitted to an inpatient ward...