CHAPTER THIRTY
For a week, I act like every little thing Harry does not has this wide effect on me, but it does in the long run and it really is a burden that whenever he’s happy I’m happy or I have to act happy because I really don’t like to see Harry sad.
And it also is a trouble when he talks about Elizabeth and I have to try and engage in the conversation when I’d rather just not talk about it. But pretty much every little thing in life reminds Harry of Elizabeth, so I pretty much have to hear about her all day every day no matter if it’s a good or bad thing.
And, maybe I’m exaggerating a little because I hate talking about her with a burning passion and when he’s talking about her for a minute it feels like a lifetime and even just the sound of her name can automatically make me feel one-hundred percent worse.
Now, though, we’re laying Harry’s bed listening to London Grammar, not talking about anything, just listening to the music and I’m listening to Harry’s beautiful voice sing along to the words.
When the song is over, a new one off of the album plays and Harry turns to me and says, “You know, Elizabeth really likes this song.” I nod and try to smile as sweetly as possible, “I think I’ve convinced her to try listening to this type of music, you know? I think she likes it.”
I stuff my face farther into the pillow in front of me and close my eyes, “That’s awesome.” I say, trying to sound very enthusiastic that Elizabeth now likes to listen to new music.
Harry doesn’t speak about it again, and instead goes back to singing and humming to the song and a real smile envelopes my face. It’s about half five, so taking a small nap wouldn’t be bad and it wouldn’t be hard with Harry’s voice lulling me to sleep.
I’m just about to fall under when Harry yells, “Violet!” and I jump up and look at him, my eyes wide.
“What happened!” I say surprised, looking at Harry closely, “Are you okay? What happened, are you hurt?”
Harry shakes his head and grins, “No I was just seeing if you were asleep,” He says and I have the sudden urge to punch him in the face. Weird. “Were you asleep?”
“Yes, I was, now shut up.” I mumble, closing my eyes again.
Harry’s silent for a few minutes and I think maybe he’s not going to be annoying but I’m once again wrong when he whispers right by my ear, “Violet.”
“Oh my God, Harry, what do you want?” I half-yell, most of it muffled by the pillow in front of me.
“Will you look at me?” He asks, voice soft and almost shy. I comply, rolling over to open up one eye, raising an eyebrow, “Are you okay?” He asks, causing me to groan and roll back over.
“No.”
“What, why not?” Harry quickly asks, shuffling to lean over and look at me.
How stupid is he, really? “Because you’re being annoying.” I say bluntly, talking about now and just about everyday.
“Oh.” He whispers, moving away from me, “I’m sorry.” He says, and I want to turn over and say that it’s alright and it’s all my fault, but it’s not, it’s Harry’s and I’m tired of always trying to make him feel better when really, all he does is do stuff to get on my nerves. I’m starting to think it’s intentional, like he wants me to feel horrible.
I don’t say anything to him, not even acknowledging his words. Harry’s quiet for the most part, except for the shallow breaths and small noises like he’s trying to say something, but doesn’t know that something to say.
