color blind//lil xan

twelve

live stream;

Billie set up her phone on her piano, then started the live stream. Her fans have been requesting this and her manager said it would be better if she did. 

She waited for more people to join before starting to press down on the white and black keys.

(creds to billie eilish my queen) Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you
Don't come back, it won't end well
But I wish you'd tell me too

Our love is six feet under
I can't help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Could roses bloom
Again?

Retrace my lips
Erase your touch
It's all too much for me
Blow away
Like smoke in air
How can you die carelessly?

Our love is six feet under
I can't help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Could roses bloom?

They're playing our sound
Laying us down tonight
And all of these clouds
Bringing us back to life
But you're cold as a night

Six feet under
I can't help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Bloom
Bloom
Again

Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you

She pressed on the last key before started to look at the screen. Comments were saying how precious her voice was, while others guessed who the song was about.

Most of the original fans from last year guessed right when they said Diego.

She hates to admit it, but after the tattoo she couldn't stop thinking about him. She wanted to move on - which she thought she did - and love someone new. That's all she wanted.

She didn't want to keep thinking of someone from the past who she wouldn't go back to.

Well, she was trying to convince herself not to go back to him.

"That was Six Feet Under," she told the camera since people were asking. She was calmer than usual, mainly because of the marijuana flowing through her system mixed with sadness.

She adjusted her posture before playing her next song.

(another creds to my queen) You can pretend you don't miss me
You can pretend you don't care
All you wanna do is kiss me
Oh, what a shame, I'm not there

You can pretend you don't miss me
You can pretend you don't care
All you wanna do is kiss me
Oh, what a shame, I'm not there

What is it you want?
You can lie, but I know that you're not fine
Every time you talk
You talk 'bout me, but you swear I'm not on your mind

You can pretend you don't miss me
You can pretend you don't care
All you wanna do is kiss me
Oh, what a shame, I'm not there

Everybody knows
You and I are suicidal stolen art
Pretty mama sews
Stitches into all your bitches broken hearts

You can pretend you don't miss me
You can pretend you don't care
All you wanna do is kiss me
Oh, what a shame, I'm not there

Somebody new
Is gonna comfort you like you want me to
Somebody new
Is gonna comfort me like you never do

Every now and then, it hits me
That I'm the one that got away
But I guess being lonely fits me
And you were made for begging, "Stay"

She started to get annoyed with the comments saying it was about Diego, as if they knew for sure, when Billie would never confirm it. She hated how they assume everything is about him when she's had other exes that hurt her, even if they are right.

Diego was the only one who really meant something to Billie. She felt like she mattered around him; like her life had a purpose.

But, he did lie; cheat. And for that she would never go back.