live stream;
Billie set her laptop up on her bed while she sat in front of it, letting the soft sound of she depressing music play in the background. She just waited for more people to join before actually starting her rant.
"This is 5:32PM by The Deli," she replied to a comment after popping a piece of fruit in her mouth. She was high as fuck and needed a bit of food to sober her up although she didn't want to. She was real pissed off and the weed was the only reason she hasn't thrown punches.
"I'm smoking Indica right now, I don't really know what strain because I'm a fake stoner," she replied to another question, putting a mocking voice. She's never really paid attention to the strains unless she really liked the weed, mainly because she just either stole from her friends. She only started paying attention to them last year when she moved to LA and started buying from a dispensary.
"I'm waiting for more people to join so I can start my rant. I'm just really pissed off right now. I don't seem pissed off but that's just because I'm ready for a stoner nap."
Once she said hi to a few people, she started to explain why she started her live stream.
"I just wanna clear something up with all you hoes thinkin' you know me, I'm not using Diego," she said, feeling a lot of weight come off her shoulders. "You guys think that because he's got money that he's going to buy me all these cool cars or something and that's all I'm in for. Nah bitch, I don't fuck like that. Yeah, he buys me shit, but that's what all boyfriends do and I feel like it's okay. It's not like I'm all, 'Diego buy me this' and all that. No, I fucking hate when he does that, but he does anyway because he's a good guy. And that's why I'm with him. Not for his money or fame, but because he's a legit person and doesn't act fake like all those other fuckers out there."
But you are using him
You still love the attention
"I think that all people like attention, y'know? Some more than others, but we all want that love and the attention that comes with it. But, the attention that comes with dating someone famous is fucked. Like, everyone be accusing me of just using him to get followers. Nah, I don't give a fuck about how many followers I have. Like, yeah, I love all of you guys with all my heart, but even if I didn't have all the followers I have now, I'd still be happy. I'm just grateful for what I have and I don't use people anymore."
"Like, I used to be a bad person and I'd just date guys to get something out of it, but I stopped doing that when I moved when I was 15. I dunno. It's all just fucked and it pisses me off. Like, I'm not a whore or a 'clout demon'. I'm just trying to be me and love who I want to, y'know?"
Didn't xan cheat tho??
Honey, you deserve better than a cheater
Billie chose to ignore comments like that, not wanting to bring up the past. She was over that and forgave him.
You should write a song about it
"I actually did write a song about it. I was really pissed off one night and I just sat down and wrote. Actually it's just on Garage Band like all my songs. It's kind of bad though."
Can you play it for us??
"Toni and Cam are home and I don't like playing shit when they're here. I just get all uncomfortable. And it's just an instrumental song so I don't think you guys really wanna listen to it," she explained.
Is ADHD a legit struggle? Or is it just energy you can deal with?
She didn't really expect to rant about this, but it did piss her off so why not?
"ADHD is a legit struggle. It fucks with everything, specially when you're in school. Teachers have told me it's just a lot of energy and I can deal with it, but it's not true. It's different for everyone, but for me, I wouldn't be able to focus in classes, which is why I skipped all the time. And other teachers have told me that they've had ADHD students in the past who have been able to sit still and pass with honour roll, but like I said, it's different for everyone. And, mixing depression with ADHD, people get confused. They think it's just mood swings, but I know how I feel. Like I've gone to councilors and they don't do anything for me. Like, I just can't sit there and talk like I'm fucked up to some person I've never met about everything personal in my life, y'know?"
"I just sound stupid, but yes, ADHD is a fucking pain in the ass. It's the main reason why I started smoking weed. When I'm high, I'm just chill and I actually shut the fuck up, but when I'm sober, it's like my mind doesn't know how to shut up. And mixing the depression and anxiety in with it, I'm just thinking all these negative thoughts, but then all these other random ones and they're just all over the place. It's just one big mental mess."
"That's really all I had to rant about so yeah. And I'm probably going to pass out soon, so love you guys," she smiled to the camera before ending the live stream and closing her eyes.
