What the Quiet Girl has to Say

Quiet

Silence.

Pure silence.

Here's my quiet story.

Oh no, I won't be talkative like those girls

Man, if I talk i'll be attractive like those girls.

Weird that I feel this way?

Why do I sort of feel this way.

To be honest I had to force myself to accept that I'm quiet. But then again I wasn't forcing myself but forcing to love the person the world wanted to force differently.

Growing up and still I feel like being talkative is the best characteristics to have.

Why?

Well most likely teachers will like you more. Not that they don't but I feel teachers gravitate with the loud kids... Make sense however since they talk to you more obviously..right?

I feel like you are seen as more attractive if you're more talkative. I know some may be like but quiet people are attractive too... We all are. I just can't help to think that because a girl is more talkative she shows her personality more which would easily make someone attracted to them.

I know that's sounds stupid but it is a mess up thing that I think. Ironic how I want to be a therapist but I need one.

But I know we are all attractive. I know someone out there may actually like my quietness or someone may like your loudness. Or whatever we are all special.

Back to talkative people though

Like you must be lucky was your parents talkative as well. (I would think)

Because my mom is quiet so I basically got the quiet trait from her. Well all my siblings do. I would feel like that was the worst trait that I received. Family members would say, "oh my gosh your kids are so quiet" (in Haitian Creole) my face>. :|

I remembered wanting to change the way that I am just like the majority of society were trying to do.

"You should talk more"
"Why are you so quiet?"
"Someone told me that you're quiet" < that last quote the girl didn't want to be my friend because I was quiet and she found out (but that was elementary, right? so who cares) ....i feel like I still should.

I'm happy that I'm not like the person I was years.

Hating that I was quiet but hating it to the point where it was bad.

I would come to school just mentally preparing myself to talk. I would try to be like the talkative girls at school but still be label as quiet even when I do that. I didn't understand that. Just made me dislike myself more... "Be more talkative girl!" I'll mentally think... I know this sounds sick because it is.

Disclaimer: It wasn't like I didn't talk I just don't talk as much.. I was basically the quiet girl.

I understand now and appreciate that my quietness is what makes me a bit more diverse. I love that and I wish no one change who they are when God love us the way we are.

I wish people wouldn't mix my quietness for shyness.

Quiet was the first thing I hated about myself

But the first I had to learn about myself.

Still today majority of society thinks that quiet is bad. I'm only speaking generally from my general observation. Society is still not distinguishing between a quiet person and a shy person and maybe vice versa; instead it's mostly thought that a quiet person is shy. Yes, quiet people can be shy, even loud people are. But that's where it messes up you can't change the quiet person but you could change their shyness(the fear).. people are trying to help me overcome my shyness but I wish some will see that instead of them helping my shyness it feels like they're going beyond what i'm trying to fix. You're fixing me. You're trying to 'fix me'. I can't change or fix the way that I am. I'm naturally quiet but I can be shy. I would like to overcome my shyness.

I'm not society description but what I think of me.

We all have our own mind and thoughts.

I know that I'm not flawed because of how 'silent I come out to be'.

I don't care anymore because it took me sadly a long time to love that I'm quiet.

Read many articles on how to not be quiet.

I do think we should overcome our fears and fear God only and being shy usually comes from fear, but there's many people who thinks that quiet is something to change and be work on.. that's where the confusion may be.

Quiet is not a flaw, not a fear, so don't be scared to be classified as quiet.

Even though so many people make it seem like it is.

I want you to not have to be like me and not liking that I was quiet.

I thought teachers would never love me but that's wrong.

Don't think lowly of yourself ever

That's what I'm trying to do and is still working on.

The thing is nothing is ever happily ever after... right?

Like new class... start of year and I'm thinking ...well I might be quiet today.

"I guess now people are going to realise that I'm quiet".

Think the seat and me is boring.

And I'm like sorry can't help it just want to focus on my school work.

The thing that I hate about sometimes Is I don't see myself as quiet but then people see it and maybe it bothers me that I can't see how I'm quiet.

So basically it's like this

Your minding your business living life. Then you get looked upon because you're different?

You're Like what's wrong with them why am I so wrong?

Then someone tells you basically that your quietness is a flaw.

They don't even have to tell me specifically but just comments like, "when you go to another school make sure you talk".

Then other people are questioning your 'quietness'.

Then eventually...

You wonder...

What is wrong with me.?

You think about the topic most people flawed you as

quiet...

And I slowly began to hate and hate being quiet.

But it was my fault.. right

Shouldn't I loved myself no matter what?

Why did it take and is still taking so long to just accept that I'm quiet?

And I think for me is because I'm so comfortable in being quiet that I don't realise that I'm being 'quiet'.

-"Why are you so quiet?"

-Funny question that's just the way I am

_____________________

If anybody out there are going through the same or similar suitations know that It's okay. Don't try to change yourself when you are already perfect. For me I grew up feeling like my Quietness was a shame. Now to be honest i'm still learning to love myself and fully just accept myself. But for now I'm happy that I don't have to change myself anymore. If you don't want to be my friend because you heard that I'm quiet then you don't have to. God made me they way that I am for a reason.

So yeah keep being you and keep being great

keep the love, hope, and faith

-jess