Hold My Girl

Chapter 10

December
20 Weeks

"Right that's enough" I ordered Allison as she continued to throw more decorations into my trolley.

"There's no such thing as too many Christmas decorations" Allison shook her head but put the tacky snow globe she was holding, back on the shelf.

"I don't want it to look like Santa's fucking grotto" I grumbled as I pushed my trolley towards the checkout. I earned a disgusted look from a mother who shielded her young child's ears.

"Damn it. Do I need to step swearing?" I mumbled to Allison. "Do I need to become more refined, more ladylike? Is that what mothers do?"

"No, you just need to stop being such a Grinch" Allison laughed as she started unloading my stuff for the cashier.

"I don't see why I need to bother will all these decorations this year?" I whined pulling my cardigan round my body a bit tighter as the cold win blew through the fronts doors of the shop.

I don't usually bother decorating the flat for Christmas. I'm not a grinch, contrary to Allison's current opinion. I promise I love Christmas as much as the next guy. I just usually go back up to Scotland over the holidays so I don't bother decorating when the flat's empty for the 10 most important days over Christmas. But with the timing of the scan and the price of plane and train tickets rising so high I'd need to remortgage the flat just to get home I decided to stay in London. There may have been a little part of me, while making that decision that hoped beyond hope the Harry might make it home early.

Harry had been gone for ten days. It had been ten days of very little contact. The time difference was a pain but all his responses to my messages had been short and to the point. Making me feel like I was pestering him. The few messages he'd sent were asking how the baby was and if I'd felt any movement. Despite reassuring him numerous times, I felt like he didn't believe I would tell him the moment I felt anything.

The thing I hated most about this weird feeling of missing Harry was - I didn't feel like I should miss him. I didn't feel like I was entitled to miss him. He wasnt anything to me. We had one thing in common, the child that was growing inside me. But it was something that would bind us for ever more and it was a hard thing to come to terms with. Especially when the person you would be bound to for the rest of your life was Harry Styles.

After I paid an extortionate amount of money for some Christmas tat we headed back to my flat where Allison started on the decorations. She promised the theme would be 'Casual meets Christmas'... I wasn't convinced.

My scan was tomorrow, so to keep busy I thought I'd make cookies. Baking was one of my biggest hobbies. I loved filling the flat with the smell of some home baking and I'd lift my hand to anything. My expertise was cookies. It has taken many years but I'd finally perfected them so I got just the right amount of gooey and crunch. I'd decided on Gingerbread and white chocolate cookies. They wouldn't do my ever expanding waistline any good but they'd curb by graving for something sweet.

"I'm done!" Allison smiled as she finished perfecting the luscious, green, garland that was now on my kitchen window sill with little glass tea holders in the middle.

Allison began lighting the candles, it was only 6pm and already pitch black outside. Despite my Grinchy nature today, I had to admit it did look cute and festive. As she showed me the rest of the flat, I had to swallow my reluctance and commend her on a wonderful job because the place looked amazing. It didn't look like Santa had thrown up tacky decorations all over my home. The decorations were minimal but impactful. The fireplace was now littered with different sized lanterns and candles, some lanterns with a mix of fairy lights and Christmas baubles. The Christmas tree beside the window was slim and tasteful decorated with white and silver baubles and ornaments. Not a piece of tinsel in sight.