THE TIMOROUS DUNYA✅

TEN

*****

Life is indeed not a bed of roses, neither it is a cup of tea. Precisely, life is a bunch of nightmare, which she desperately wants to wake up from. She just wish she could open her eyes and find out her whole life is a dream. She wish she has a button she could press to erase all the terrible things she'd gone through. But sadly there isn't, this is how her life is destined to be. This is how Allah had planned her life and nothing or no one could change it.

Maryam I know I'm leaving, and by Allah it hurts me to leave you in this cruel and timorous dunya. But I want you to know that life isn't something I plan, you plan or anyone plans but something that Allah plans.

Her mother's voice echoed in her head. She winced at it, like it had slap her.

Life is so unfair! Taking the only one person you have is unfair!!

She looked at the door motionless, the old rusty and almost out of place door of her room. Another round of five minutes pass with her looking at the door emotionless and thinking about how terribly messed up her life is. Finally composing herself, she went for the door. She effortly opened it using the logic she had which is placing one hand on the lower part and the other on the higher to push it backward at the same time. She opened it with it yielding a kiiiiiiiiiiiiii sound.

She pushed it wide revealing the room, nothing changed. From the little black viva bag which has her little pairs of clothes at the farrest corner,to the worn out mat that is folded and placed neatly on the door, to the piece of broken furniture that were once her mother's chair.

She salamed and entered the room and closed back the door with great difficulty. She moved to the farrest corner right beside her bag of clothes and sat down, she brought her legs and held them firmly against her chest.

Resting her chin on her knees, she began to think about life. It is so confusing the way someone gets tortured without knowing the reason. She had never knew the reason why Inna Saude despises her and her mother, to the extent that she wants them dead. She kept searching her brain for anything, any answers at all to her questions, but her brain didn't come up with any, the frustration was making her insane.

She tugged her curls aggressively removing her headgear in the process. She kept tugging as if it will distinguish her answers . But it didn't and it's all making her mad, angry, depressed and frustrated.

She turned to the wall behind her and started hitting her forehead on it unceasingly . She ignored the pain that resonates her head, life was really making her mad.

Have faith in Allah because that is the only thing that could lead you to a good ending.

She remembered her mother's words. They were just like a guide to her, calling to her whenever she's following the wrong path. She stopped to massage her aching temple.

.. Allah (SWT) himself says 'Ask me and I shall answer you ', and this is one of the times when Allah is the only one that could help her. She went out and performed wuduu, she spread some of her clothes on the floor facing the qibla as the praying mat.

Then she prayed, she purred her heart out to As-sami'u (the all hearing), she prayed in her sujood, asking Allah to guide her through the right path, to unveal the reason behind every torture and misery she went through, to bring an end to it. She prayed for her mother, her father, she prayed for everything and nothing.

After then, she sat down motionless looking in space, the emptiness was overwhelming, she couldn't think straight any more...