THE TIMOROUS DUNYA✅

TWENTY-NINE

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*****

Today being Friday, Maryam left to another therapy session with Mrs Sabeeha, much to her disdain. It was a fruitless one to say the least. Maryam had almost vented on Hajarah when she came to inform her of the driver awaiting her. She wondered if everyone around her was blind. Or maybe they had simply decided to ignore whatever hint she's leaving. Couldn't they see that the therapy was a complete waste of time? Not to talk of the resources. It is said that if one wants to help something, he must know whether that thing, or perharps person in her case is willing to be helped. Otherwise, it is just a waste of time.

It isn't that she's ungrateful to all they have been doing and still doing to her, no. Infact all her life she had never come across strangers that show genuine, or not ingenuine (she can't tell) concern towards her. The thing is, she had told herself that particular statement, 'it will be okay' severally. But each time it had come back and hit her right in the face. No matter how much she wants to believe in those words again, she just can't bring herself to. How many times had the optimism worked for her? None. No one would blame her for believing this time too, it's going to be a repeat of thesame routine. However this time, when it's back to hit her in the face, she will be ready to accept it wholeheartedly.

With a small nod, she had stood up and slowly walked out, dragging her feet. Maryam had seen the driver, Malam Kamal before Hajarah had even came to inform her. She was gazing at the neatly mowed lawn  through the window when he drove in through the gates along with the fish Hajarah had requested him to buy. Yet, she had held onto the little string of hope that perharps Hajarah would forget today was Friday and she would happily miss the session. But ofcourse, luck wasn't on her side.

Heaving out a sigh, Maryam pushed the duvet which her fragile body has been nestled underneath. A cold gush of wind hit her immediately and she shuddered, glaring at the source of it. For she split second, she had thought of going near the air conditioner but she quickly decided against it. That little devil has been spurting out cold wind since when Hajarah switched it on during the day. According to her, the room could use abit of cooling. Now, she had no idea how to turn it off. A few hours ago, she had grew fraustrated and decided to press a button randomly. It seemed like she had pumped some blood into it's engine because ever since then, it was working at a more higher speed and spurting a more frigid wind.

With her long hijab already on her, she unlocked the door to her room or perharps, Sufyan's room and maneuvered through the dark hallway, using the faint moonlight coming through the slit of the curtains as her source of light. A few minutes later, she found herself in the kitchen. The kitchen had a huge window overlooking the moon so the light in there was more prominent, hence she didn't bother switching the lights on.

Maryam took a bottle of chilled water from the fridge and settled on one of the chairs. She unscrewed the cap and took a large gulp from it after muttering "Bismillah". She closed her eyes, feeling the liquid travelling through her throat, altering it's earlier dried state. There was just something about cold water that is so satisfying, even toddlers would agree to that. Growing up, her mother had constantly refused to allow her drink cold water. It was when she had come to realize that it is harmful to the health when everything made sense to her. But now is one of the very few times she will put everything aside and enjoy it, while it last. Ofcause someone just had to intrude, someone called Sufyan.

"Miriam?" Sufyan asked, the shock quite evident in his face at seeing her awake this time of the night. That also, in the dark. Maryam rolled her eyes, tired of correcting him that her name isn't Miriam, but Maryam.

"Why are you awake at 2:48 in a dark magical night such as this?" Maryam shook her head, she had grown used to his silliness.

"How many times do I have to tell you that my name is Maryam not Miriam?" She retorted back.

"Answering my question with a question, fair enough Miriam." Sufyan made a curt nod, as if to say, "I'm impressed".

She took another gulp from the bottle while Sufyan strolled to the frigde. He retrieved a medium tub containing chocolate flavoured ice-cream, his favourite. He grabbed two spoons and joined Maryam on the table. Removing the lid, he slid a spoon across the table for Maryam. He had realized that she has been avoiding any contact with him, and whenever he's close to her mistakenly, she would flinch and panic. For that, he had kept his distance.

With the tub placed between them, Sufyan scooped some with his spoon and licked it. Maryam watched him silently, earnestly. If she was told a month ago that she'll be sitting down, in the middle of the night with Sufyan and not have the urge to scream or wreck something out of anger, she would have laughed it off at the person's face. The Maryam from a few months ago would have exited the kitchen at the mere presence of another male. Yet somehow, this Maryam has been learning new things and seeing the old ones in another perspective. A clearer one.

Maybe it has to do with the daily conversations between her and Sufyan during breakfast. Or perharps not conversations since it involved only the latter speaking. Now that she thought about it, Maryam had come to realize that she knows almost, if not everything about the person sitting opposite to her. Sufyan had disclosed to her one way or the other, his love for chocolate and basically any desert that entails chocolate. He's allergic to peanuts, hates cats and takes nothing less than an hour to get ready. He also loved playing baseball when he was a kid but with time he had come to love soccer as his best sport. Although, baseball will always have a soft spot in his heart, his words-

"It doesn't bite, you know?" Sufyan said, with a scoop of ice-cream in his mouth. Maryam picked the spoon Sufyan had kept for her earlier, cautiously, noticing half of the ice-cream in the tub already gone.

She took the first scoop. The first thing she felt was the coldness in her buds, then an explosion of cream and chocolate flavour busted within the walls of her mouth. Before she knew it, the second scoop had passed into her mouth, leading her to the addiction state. That is what ice-cream does to people, once you take the first scoop, you'll be left keen for another taste, and another. Then, you become addicted.

"What is your favourite colour?" Sufyan asked out of the blue. Maryam glanced at him. He had kept his spoon and was just watching her with sheer interest.

"Yellow." Followed by the clear of a throat was her reply. She glanced back at the tub before her, losing herself in it.

"I hate darkness. I hate the fear that came with it, the sorrow, the memories. It reminded me of how I was and what I've gone through. Every night, I wait for that yellow light to overpower the darkness. I wait for the rays of the sun to assure me, it is over. And it did, always. I guess the only thing I can trust and call my favorite is the sun and it's yellow rays."

Sufyan had to admit, this is the most he had ever gotten out of Maryam. For a split second, he could see through her emotionless face, he could hear how her voice broke as she spoke and the raw emotions coating her words. Behind that cold exterior she normally keeps, is a broken, frightened girl.

A few days ago, Sufyan heard his mother talking on the phone with someone, Maryam's therapist. They were talking about the lack of response from Maryam, that she had never spoken during the sessions. Sufyan felt his heart swell with happiness at the possibility of him being the first person she had opened up to.

"Miriam." Sufyan called with a low, yet stern voice. "You don't have to fight this battle alone anymore. Look around you, there's my parents, there's me and we're all here for you, whenever you need us. I know you've been doing this on your own, and so far you've been doing a wonderful job. But for once, let someone help you, let us help you. Please."

There was a long pause in the kitchen before Maryam nodded softly. "I'll try."

Behind them, several metres away, Hajarah is spotted  hidden in the blanket of darkness. A huge grin broke on her face as she quietly tiptoed back to her room.