Chapter Twenty-Four ~Aidan~

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Her hot blood poured over my hands, almost as hot at the tears running down my face. I let them fall in front of her. I glanced from her bleeding side to her open eyes. They were watching me. I couldn’t hold her gaze, I let her down. I wasn’t there for her and I couldn’t face it. I was a coward. I closed my eyes and rested my head against hers. I breathed in her hair, her skin. My best friend. How could he do this? I thought I knew him.

                 He stood there. He watched her bleed. He watched me cry. He watched. I looked up at him, but I couldn’t find the words. They were trapped inside of me, trapped inside the dimming light of her eyes. I bent over her body, trying to shield her from the rain. She stretched her hand up over the back of my head and twined her fingers through my hair, just like she’d always do when we were close. Chills racked my spine, and it wasn’t because of the rain.

                I shook my head, reaching up to take her hand off of my neck. She pulled me to her; I could see the pain in her eyes. I wanted it to end, I wanted to go back in time and stop her from ever walking out the door. I kissed her. I kissed her in the rain. I let my tears wash over her face.

                Jay was the only one who could save her now. I forced myself to meet his eyes.

                “Please,” I cried. I’d never stooped so low in my life to beg to him, but Layla changed everything.

                His dark eyes were fixated on her. He wouldn’t even look at me as he shook his head. I turned back to her. She was shaking under me, writhing in pain. I wanted him to kill me too. I wanted to suffer with her.

                I traced her lips with my fingers and buried my head in her shoulder. I couldn’t take it.

                “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I was shaking now, too. I could feel her getting colder. I could feel her life draining from her with her blood.

                “I love you,” she said in an almost inaudible whisper. I had to gasp for breath I was crying so violently.

                “I love you, too,” I stuttered, pressing my lips to hers. They were cold, colder than they should have been. She relaxed in my grasp, but I couldn’t force myself to let her go. No. Not yet, oh God, please not yet.

                I forced myself to look back up at her, to meet her eyes one last time. Jay was hovering over us like a shadow. When I looked up at her, I realized she was no longer Layla. They weren’t the pale blue eyes of Layla, they were the warm brown eyes of Alexa. Her stringy brown hair was glued to her neck in the rain. Adrenaline went through me like a wave. No. Not her.

                Jay rustled next to me. I glared up at him.

                “Here.” His voice was gruff as he tossed me his phone. I dialed the number, even though I knew it was too late. No one could save her now. She was gone.

                I jumped up, trying to decipher reality from my dream. I was dazed for a moment, unsure of if what I’d just seen was real or not. I glanced up to her window to see her sitting on her bed, writing something in her notebook. Relief washed over me, calming the waves of adrenaline that pulsed through my body.

                My nightmare was the same as always, except for the end of course. One of Layla’s songs played through my head. Whenever I tried to remember any of her songs, I couldn’t. The one time I didn’t want to think about them, they came. The beautiful guitar chord that accompanied the lyrics was so clear she might as well have been playing right next to me.

                Her beautiful voice sang out: Get me out of here. I need to escape this everlasting nightmare. Escape what? Nothing but myself, for I’m the only thing holding me here.

                I’d spent so long worrying about Jay, about everyone he’d meet. I’d spent my life running from him, from my life, trying to stay out of reality’s grasp. But what if I’m the real bad guy here? What if I was the one destroying lives? How would I escape myself?

                I wiped the tears from my face and gazed up at the stars. I wondered if Layla was watching me now; if God would even let her watch someone as sick as me. I was sick. I could still save Alexa, but no one could ever do the same for me.  

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