An Open Sky

Chapter Twenty-Eight ~Aidan~

She was up before I went to work. That was unusual. She never woke up this early. I watched her brush her hair in front of the mirror, obviously irritated. I was kind of glad I wasn’t the one on her head at the moment. I cut through the neighbor’s yard, leaving her to angrily tear out her hair in peace, and headed out onto the road. I kept my hands in my pockets, hoping the bluish tint would go away and they’d return to their normal fleshy color. I glanced back when I heard her voice call out to her dad. She yelled something about Dani? I knew a Dani from school, and I was kind of hoping she was talking about the same one. Dani could protect her.

                A car rumbled to life and she pulled out of the garage. I dashed behind the closest bushes I could find before she passed me. Even though I chose to be hidden, I wanted her to see me, to look for me. I wanted her to hop out of her car and walk to me so I could pull her close. I wanted her to tuck her head into my shoulder and pretend that everything would be okay, just once. I wanted serenity just once. But she continued to drive.

                I stood and started back down the road. There were a few neighbor kids outside playing soccer in the middle of the street. I remembered when my friends and I used to play in the street in a similar fashion. I remembered when I had friends, real friends. But that was a while ago, before my life fell apart. It was funny how one day, when the world is at your feet, your friends promise to always be there, and then the next, when everything is gone and you actually need them, they’re nowhere to be found. I cast a smile in their direction while I walked past. It amused me how they could play like that, oblivious to any possible danger. I remembered how I was as a child. Everything looked so bright, so many possibilities. Everything was faded now, only ominous shades of gray.

                I stepped through the doors of the Frontier Bar expecting to see the usual customers being satisfactorily treated by Dale. My attention was instead drawn to a young couple in the back. They must have been vacationing through, or else I would have seen them before.  Their fingers were twined together, resting in the middle of the table. Their eyes were glued to each other’s mouths, not even flinching when Dale set their food down next to them. Their very presence illuminated desire. I couldn’t stand it.

I followed Dale back to the kitchen. I tapped him on the shoulder.

“Can I borrow your truck?” He turned to face me.

“What for?” He wiped his hands on a towel hanging over the sink.

“I need to stop at school and get my locker set.”

“Oh yeah,” he laughed, “When does that start anyway?”

  “School?” He nodded. “It starts next Monday.”

“Oh,” he frowned, scratching his head. “What’s today?”

“Tuesday.” He fished around in his jeans pocket for his keys and tossed them to me. “Thanks,” I said turning toward the door.

“Wait, Aidan?” I turned back to face him. I glanced up at a pot hanging above me. I didn’t even recognize myself. I looked like a scared little child cowering in the corner. I forced my eyes back on Dale; I was sick of myself.

“Are you okay?” He stepped toward me like he was about to embrace me or something. I stepped back and pushed on the door, opening it just a crack. Dale stopped.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I tried to slide out of the crack, wishing I could just teleport myself out of there. When he didn’t try to stop me and push the subject of my feelings further, I kept going.

“You’re always welcome at my house to do your studies,” he followed me out the door. “Keep that in mind, okay?” I nodded, not sure if he saw me or not because he turned to deliver a sandwich.

I slipped out the main doors, sneaking one last glance at the couple. They were walking toward the door, hand in hand. You’d think they were glued together.

I suddenly felt as if I had to get out of there before they saw me. I closed the doors behind me and practically sprinted around the back of the building to Dale’s truck. I hopped in and slid down in the seat, watching the doors open in the rearview mirror. They stepped out together, of course. I watched them walk across the road and kiss a little longer than necessary before sliding into an over-packed van. I felt a sudden spike of hate for the two, not because of who they were, but because they were happy. They were in love, and I was stuck here.

It isn’t fair.

I turned the key, pulling out onto the road right in front of them. I glanced back at my tattered backpack in the seat behind me, where I’d left it the day I’d finished school shopping. I’d spent only fifty dollars for everything. That was all I had. I could hear the bass vibrating the car following me. I could tell it was some stupid rap song. I never understood rap, why people like it. All of the songs are the same, and it takes no musical talent to write or talk really fast. Half of the people in the world talk fast, now they just need to talk about drugs and add a repetitive beat. Everyone could rap.

I popped my Red CD in the truck and spun the volume up. I didn’t care how much the lead vocal screamed at me; I wanted to be angry, and this song would definitely do the trick. I sang along to the words I knew and drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. No one could hear me anyways. What did I care? No harm, no foul.

Layla loved it when I sang to her. She didn’t care how bad I sounded. She’d laugh, starting to sing along herself. She’d lean over and kiss my cheek, sending fire racing through my chest. Even though her lips would only linger for a second, they’d leave a flame behind. I’d slide my hand down to her knee, teasing her, daring her to ask for more even though she rarely would.

I pulled into the school parking lot, almost sending myself through the windshield when I spotted Alexa’s car. I parked the rusty pickup truck a few rows back, but stayed directly behind her. I almost made the mistake of getting out when I spotted them coming out of the building.

So she’s with Dani. That’s good, more or less. I smiled, picturing how well Dani could get under Jay’s skin. She was the only girl I knew that could send him to his knees with just a glance. Nonetheless, she had the same effect on me.

I slid back in the seat as they jumped in Alexa’s car. I longed to follow them as they left the parking lot. I desperately tried to convince myself that she was in good hands, that nothing would happen to her.

I forced myself out of the truck, letting them go. I kept my eyes ahead of me; there was no way I would let myself look down the road after them.

I stepped through the doors of the school and walked down several lengths of hallways until I came upon my locker. I spun the dial until it clicked. I threw my backpack into it, not bothering to unpack like I’d originally wanted to. There were too many kids roaming the hallway, too many people to get in my way.

I flipped up my hood and made my way back into the cold.