Chapter Thirty-Four ~Aidan~

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I’d always welcomed pain, yet as I expected the inevitable, my contradictions raged within me.

I stepped through the doors, half-expecting to turn into Jay’s fist. When I finally had the courage to open my eyes and meet the curious glances being casted my way, the warning bell rang. Five minutes. Five minutes…

The time ticked down in my head like an alarm. I’d never been so nervous for school before. I hadn’t come in close contact with Alexa in days; I knew only what I observed through her window, which wasn’t much. My fingers toyed with the collar on Dale’s son’s old button-up shirt. I felt wrong wearing it. It was one of the only things Dale had left of him. I didn’t understand what could make someone walk out Dale’s door and never come back.

I numbly walked to my locker, cold sweat threatening to bleed down my back. I pulled open the slightly rust-tinted door, reaching in to grab the bag which had held my books captive over the past few days. The metal door slammed against my wrists, sending the door vibrating loudly in my face, before I’d even realized there was someone standing next to me.

I jumped back, holding my throbbing wrists between my legs. “What was that for?”

“Alexa,” Dani gripped my arm, sending hunks of my skin under her fingernails, “He’s after Alexa.”

I flinched.

“Isn’t he?” She leaned in closer to me. The one-minute warning bell rang. The speaker was directly overhead, but it sounded miles away.

“What?  Dani, not now; I have to get to class.”

“And I don’t? Don’t play stupid Aidan. Jay, he’s after Alexa.” Her tone sent shivers down my spine.

“How do you know?” I narrowed my eyes, trying to convince my thrashing heart that I wasn’t nervous.

“I know because he paid us a visit a few nights ago.”

“What?” I could barely hear myself over the pounding in my ears. “We’ll talk later.” I pulled out of her grasp, examining the crescent-shaped patches of blood forming on my arms from her fingernails. I had to see Alexa. I had to know she was alright.

                I stepped through the doors to psychology. No one really had a general interest for the class, with me being the exception.

                I wanted to know. I wanted to understand people; moreover, I wanted to understand myself. I slid into a desk, hiding myself behind my books. The last thing I needed was some idiot making small talk with me. I needed to focus; to think.

                I looked up when I heard the desperate calling of the girls behind me. I glanced to the door to find Alexa, who was more than slightly embarrassed, wave back at them. I watched her, in her navy-blue summer dress; walk up the isle of desks next to me. So she’s alright. I slid further behind my fortress of books as she got closer. Her eyes met mine for only a moment, before she passed. There was no greeting, no warm recognition. It was almost like she’d never previously met me. Part of me was relieved, but the other part was almost hurt that she blocked me out.

                I turned slightly, to watch her greet her friends, jealousy bubbling inside of me. My eyes wandered to the laced back of her dress. My fingers involuntarily twitched at my sides. I wanted her. I wanted her more than anything. I abruptly turned back to my books when my eyes caught her friend’s gaze. I knew by the way it got quiet that they were whispering about me.

                My cheeks immediately grew hot. I was relieved when Mr. Colliard finally started class.

                After almost an hour of studying how the human brain works, because apparently we had to learn that before we could truly understand a person, my heart had finally slowed down to a normal pace.

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