Why ME?? (MALEC)

Chapter 1: Today Is Different

Alec's POV:

Every day is like this. Basically, I get up. Get annoyed because of Magnus. Go to school. Get beaten up: by several different people. Have lunch. TRY and get through school. Go home. Get annoyed of Magnus. Again. Fall asleep. Start again. I have to cope with that and have a battle with myself. I hate life. Suicidal thoughts crowd my brain. Everyday since senior year started, I've started thinking of ways on how I can end my life. I even have a notebook in my room on every single way I've come up with. I haven't attempted any of them......yet. I've cut myself with small knives to help me. No one has noticed or they just don't care.

If you guys don't know who Magnus is then I'll tell you. He is my number 1 bully. What's even worse is that, he lives with me. Let me explain. The rest of my family died in a plane crash. It was my fault. I told them to go and have a vacation without me. I was mute for several weeks after that and I kind of still am. Sarah Bane adopted me from the orphanage I was in. I only talk to Sarah. She's like the ONLY person who probably cares about me and is nice to me. She is one of the reasons I am alive today. Other wise, I would've joined my family long time ago. The other reason I'm alive in this exact moment, is archery. I've been doing it since I was 7. It makes me feel alive. Like really alive. When I go to archery, it's the only time when I'm truly happy.

Anyways, it's the 1st of December and I have to go to school. Great(!)

My alarm for 7:00am goes off and I hit snooze. Like who doesn't? 5 minutes later, my alarm goes off again and this time I get up. I go to the bathroom (sadly it's not connected to my bedroom) and see Magnus in his pj's, so only some grey sweatpants that hang low on his hips showing his V-line, applying gel on his hair to make it spiked. He adds glitter as the finishing touch. His abs are showing. He has got wide shoulders and great abs. He is so handsome. I don't drool or show that I like what I see. He's already got his make up on and damn does he look good. Here's the problem. I like Magnus. It's crazy, I know. Who has a crush on their bully? Me. That's who. Alexander Gideon Lightwood. No one knows. I stand in the doorway gazing at him and his face. That perfect, handsome face. On the inside, I'm freaking out. On the outside, I have a default face on. So basically, a bored and not interested in anything sort of face.

"Can you hurry up!?" I say impatiently, after I wait for 5 minutes. He looks at me through the mirror and smirks.
"Can't wait can you?" He says in his normal, deep voice. I think it's sexy.
"I've been waiting for 5 minutes. I need to get ready as well!" I say, impatiently. The real reason I want to lock myself in the bathroom is to make a small cut. I haven't done it in a day and it's addictive. I like the colour of my blood.
"Ugh, fine. I'm done anyway." Magnus says and pushes past me, our shoulders bumping. He goes of to his room to change.

I go into the bathroom and lock the door. I brush my teeth really quick. Time to cut now. I usually make cuts on my inner arms but I want to do it somewhere else. I decide to do it on my right shoulder. I grab the knife and make the cut. Blood drips down my shoulder.
"Mum says that breakfast is ready. Come down when you're done." Magnus says through the door. I hiss in pain because of the cut and say,
"Yeah, I-I'll be there i-in a second." I stutter and my voice breaks. Damn it. Tears start to gather in my eyes. One or two slide down my cheek and I sniff.
"Alec, are you OK?" Magnus says. It sounded like he was concerned. Concerned about me. He's never like that. Magnus never asks if I'm ok. Is he being serious? No he probably isn't.
"Why do you care?" I say aggressively, as I clean my cut and put a bandage over it. I look in the mirror and see that my eyes are a tiny bit red and puffy. I don't care. I unlock and open the door to see Magnus standing there now fully dressed in his fashionable clothes.
"I heard you hiss and sniff. What happened?" He asks.
"Why would I tell you?" I ask him.
"I do-"
"BOYS!!!! YOU NEED TO EAT NOW OTHER WISE YOU'LL BE LATE!!!!" Sarah screams from downstairs.
"COMING!!!" I shout and past Magnus, my right shoulder shoving against his right one. I wince as my cut stings. I accidentally cut too deep, however, I still enjoyed it.

I reach the kitchen and grab the pancakes Sarah made. They're delicious. She's like the best cook ever. Well, better a lot better than Izzy my sister. I smile at the thought of Izzy. I look up and see Sarah looking at me and smiling. Magnus comes down the stairs and sits to my right.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I've stopped smiling.
"You smiled. I can't remember the last time you did that other than when you play archery. " Sarah says, sweetly.
"Oh, I just thought about my sister." I look down at my nearly finished pancakes and smile again. Being with my family feels like decades ago but it was only 3 years ago. So much has happened since the crash. Sarah sits in front of me and holds my hand.
"I wish I could've met her. She was probably amazing." She says. Tears fill my eyes and I rush up to my room, slamming the door and I sit on my bed crying, head in my hands.

After a while, I hear the door open and someone sits next to me. They put their hand on my back and rub in circular motion.
"It's ok. It's not your fault. Everything we'll be fine." It's Magnus. What's happening? He never cares about me. Why is he comforting me?
"It is my fault. I killed them. It's my fault." I say in between cries. I turn and face Magnus. My vision is blurred a little bit with tears. I look into Magnus's hazel eyes and wipe my own eyes. I bury my face into his shoulder and wrap my arms around his torso. A few more tears roll down my cheeks.
"Thanks. Thank you for being here right now. I know you hate me but I really needed this." I say into his shoulder. He grabs my shoulders and pulls me back and stares into my eyes. My right shoulder begins to throb a little.
"I don't hate you. It just takes me a while to get used to people. You never really talk so it was harder. Just know I don't hate you. I'm sorry if I made it feel like I did. I'm sorry for teasing you and doing stupid things to you. I really am sorry." He states. I can't ignore the pain in my shoulder and I shrug backwards. Magnus looks hurt.
"I didn't move backwards cos of your touch. It's my shoulder. It makes me feel better knowing you don't hate me but it seemed like you did. Why? What did I do?"
"You didn't do anything. My mum means everything to me. I was the one thing she cared about. I was her main attention. That all changed. It all changed when you came. All of a sudden, all my mums attention was focused on you. I got jealous and that's why I did all those things to you. I'm sorry." Magnus explained. I hugged him.

"It's ok. I forgive you. Just can you stop?" I asked him. He nodded and I pulled away. "I'm staying home today." I said.
"Then I'm staying as well. To make sure you and your shoulder is OK." He smirked. I tensed. "What happened to your shoulder anyway?" Magnus asked.

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Hey, sorry if the characters don't seem normal. It's hard for me to get the characters personalities right.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Xx-evelyn-xX