Two Birds One Arrow (Completed)

Chapter 4

You have been informed before that I did not even have second thoughts about arranged marriage right from when I was a kid. But that does not change the fact that I have my own fantasies about my husband or my marriage in any way.

Ever since forever, I have been building all the love to pour on one person alone and of course it is so much that I have my own expectations how this person should be.

Now there is this whole lot of fear within me about how it would be if this person did not meet any of my expectations at all. Or what if he met my expectations but I did not meet his. The reality of this situation was so horrifying that it did not let me enjoy the excitement I was carrying from within.

I look at myself in the mirror as Ananya works on my make up. I sit there clad in my favourite pink saree without a single trace of smile in my face. My mother walks in carrying flowers in her hands and hands them over to Ananya so that she could pin it into my hair. My Mom leaves the room after that.

Ananya places the flowers in my head and turns to look at me through the mirror.

"Hey, why are you not smiling?" She asks me as she continues to pin the flowers to my head.

"I am scared, dude." I tell her without beating beating the bush around knowing fully well that she will not be judging me.

"And why is that?" She asks as she continues to do my make up.

"It's just that, you know," I trail off unable to find the right words, "what if he rejects me?" I ask her the question which I have been asking myself for the past hours.

"Why would someone reject you?" She asks me being the ignorant idiot she is.

"Why would someone not?" I ask her. "There may be a lot of reasons. He may not actually like me, he might me pressurised by his family into marrying me or worse, he is in love with someone else." I ramble off finally getting the weight off my chest. Even though I did not the find answers to my questions, I am relieved by the fact that I am atleast able to talk about my actual feelings to someone.

"Listen here Neha, there will always be 'what ifs' no matter what you do or how hard you try. Now you may say no because you might me scared about what if it does not work out after you both get married. But suddenly as time passes by, you may be left wondering what if you had married him. Don't let the 'what ifs' in your mind confine the decisions of your heart. Forget all about it and take the leap. Give yourself the chance you deserve -" she is cut off when the commotion outside suddenly increases and I hear my Dad welcoming someone into the house. Soon my Mom walks into my room, shutting the door behind her.

"Is she ready, yet? The bride groom and his family are here." She informs us.

"Yeah aunty, she is ready." Neha tells my mother which leads to my mother walking to face me.

"You look so beautiful, dear. You grew up so fast." On any other occasion, I too might have grown emotional with her but at the scenario I was in, the panic which I had experienced minutes ago, has intensified to a whole new level. It is indeed such a miracle that I have not passed or something ,yet.

Ananya asks her a few questions to which she answers. I pay no attention to their conversation because my mind and my heart are in an overdrive of nervousness, awkwardness and so many other things. My Mom soon exits the room and Ananya excuses herself telling me she wants to have a look at the groom and also leaves.

I actually thought of ways to run away from my home in order to escape from the awkward meeting I am going to have if I step out of my room. However before I could even come up with a plan, Ananya walks in excitedly and hurriedly.

"Dude, he is so much more better looking in person than what he did in the photo. You better get married to him or I might really consider marrying him." She laughs and I really hope she was only joking about the last part.

"Hey, don't be scared. Be confident. Things will work out if destiny has already planned it out for you. Do not confuse your thoughts." Ananya tells me one last time before my mother walks in holding a tray of coffee cups in her hands. Ananya helps her with it.

"It is time, Neha. Come, let us go." My Mom hands over the tray to me. I became pretty assured that I was going to drop it even before I hand it over to one person outside.

"Remember what I said." Ananya tells me as she fixes my make up and saree.

I walk out of my room and step to my living room were everyone were gathered. I felt every single pair of eyes on me and I was suddenly overcome by a foreign feeling : shyness.

Suddenly I became aware of every single problem I had. Like how I scraped off the nail polish in my thumb finger and how one of my anklets has not been tightened properly. I knew I could not just stand like that forever and eventually decided to hand down the coffee.

There were nearly twenty people in his family and he was seated there in the centre. Though I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, I could not find it within myself to look up to him. It was finally my turn to hand him the coffee.

I bowed down a little so that it would be easier for his to pick the cup. At the exact moment, he picked the cup I looked up at him and we locked eyes. It would not have lasted for even two seconds, but those two seconds gave me a whole new emotion and I could feel some new rush within me. I also realised that my cheeks have begun to heat up.

I quickly hand down coffee to the rest of the people. After making sure everyone has been given a cup, I walk up towards Ananya and stand beside her. She nudges my elbow and I turn to look at her and my raise both if my brows questioningly (seeing I was physically incapable of  raising one at a time). She wiggles her eye brows at me and gives me a smug smile seeing which I immediately turn my gaze down to the floor.

The families keep talking for some time and then finally someone addresses me.

"You look very beautiful in this saree, dear." A woman in a green saree told me which I assumed was his mother as she had some resemblances to his face.

"Thank you." I smile at her, not being the one to initiate conversations or keeping it going.

"Would you like to work after marriage?" She asks me.

"Yes, aunty." I decide to end my answer here , however, I find my answer a little too short and hence decide to continue. "I have some goals. I am yet to achieve most of them. I want to work and accomplish all of my dreams but I will never let it affect any of my duties as a responsible daughter-in-law. " Now I realise that I have talked much more than what was necessary and mentally curse myself. 

God, Neha, stop embarrassing yourself.

"Good." She smiled at me to which I smiled back, relieved that she did not feel that I was a screw up or something.

Again a few more words are exchanged between the families.

Someone in the crowd begins talking, "we can continue our conversation later. Let the bride and the groom talk to each other in private, first." Everyone agrees to his suggestion and the next thing I know I am standing in my empty room with him. My room really feels foreign and different to me and I just stand there awkwardly. To my relief, Gautham decided to start the start the conversation to which I became eternally grateful.

It was the first conversation among the million other conversations we had. And that one will always hold a special place in my heart.