Taking the Leap

Chapter 4

~Xander ~

I slipped a toe into the scalding water of the bath tub, checking if it was too hot. It was just this side of steaming so I went into the water groaning happily as the water came up to my collarbone. The bubbles made me look halfway decent as I turned up my Bluetooth speakers to listen to Tchaikovsky's first piano concerto. Fuck, he had been a genius. I leaned back into the hot water wondering why baths always calmed me down in a way nothing ever did.

I reached over the side of the tub to pick up my glass of chilled blood. I drank happily, decidedly not thinking of the wolf. Just as the first movement ended my cellphone started ringing to "Who let the dogs out." I swore before picking up and sitting up in the bath tub.

"You've interrupted me...Again." I started off the call.

For whatever reason the wolf sounded emotional, words turning and toppling into one another. "I don't think we should meet up. I'm not out. And, I don't want to be. I just want to be normal, and— I can't. Being around you would just remind me of everything I'm not."

It took me a moment to recognize that I felt disappointed. In fact, I was stunned. "You're...Cancelling on me?"

There was a lengthy pause. "I can't see you. It'll just make things worse." Worse for him, he meant.

"Achilles." I said softly, crossing my legs in the tub as the warm water ebbed and circled around my legs. "There's nothing wrong with being bi, or gay or even curious. It's natural."

"It isn't natural. Don't you get it?" He was breathing erratically enough that I thought he would start panicking. "I hate that I'm like this."

"Where are you? Did you want to come to my place? We can just talk." I downed my glass of blood, trying to swallow quietly.

The line was quiet for so long I thought he'd hung up on me. "I don't know." He whispered.

When he sounded uncertain and scared I wanted to make his fears go away. But I couldn't accomplish that when he was the source of his own fears.

It took a bit of prodding but in the end Achilles agreed to come to my place. We lived in adjacent neighbourhoods and he was about ten minutes away. After we clicked off, I had a moment of panic. I needed to get dressed, get rid of obvious signs of blood and probably give him something to eat.

I got out of the bathtub, towelling off and putting on my robe while I let the bath water drain, and gargled some mouthwash. Blood breath wasn't the least bit attractive.

My apartment was split into two halves where the east wing had my instruments and my recording equipment and the west wing were my living quarters. I dressed quickly, pulling on my silk pyjamas and taking a cursory glance around the living room.  I called down to the lobby with my landline so that security would let Achilles through. Then, I texted Achilles to mention he was here to see Alexander Knight if anyone questioned him. I hadn't had anyone over in a while—Not since Corey. My stomach turned over and it took me a moment to get my breathing under control so I could push thoughts of him away.

By the time I'd emptied my mind, there was a soft but insistent knock at the door. I knew it was Achilles so I took my sweet time in going over to open it.

My body's reaction to him only seemed to intensify with each and every one of our meetings. My heart flew into my throat, lodging itself there while the skin all over my body prickled. My hands—I didn't know what to do with my hands. I strengthened my grip on the doorknob just staring at him.