Chapter 1

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"I will never understand how it is more shameful to be a rape victim than to be a rapist" ~Sara Erdmann

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"I will never understand how it is more shameful to be a rape victim than to be a rapist" ~Sara Erdmann

Listen to: "Medicine" by Havelin

 My mom and I went to the school to enroll me and get my classes set up. I had no Babysitter for the girls, we had to bring them with us. We got to the school we were told to wait in the hall and after 20 minutes Aria started to cry.

"I got it, if you do it, it will look suspicious," my mom whispered. I nodded and sat back down. A few minutes later the principal came to get us to start the paperwork. We walked into his office and sat in the two chairs he had pulled out for us.

"We just need to pick classes for you. I see here you have all your necessary classes," Mr. Wilton continued.

"Yes, I passed all my classes in Australia with at least an 85%," I smiled while signing a few papers.

"that's impressive, you still need an English, a Native language, a physical education, health, and two electives for your final year."

"Can I take English, Spanish, gym, and what are the electives that are offered?" I ask as he pulls out a paper with all the electives. "Ok I will take a writing class," I say handing the paper back to him.

"That's it then. I just need to print off your timetable and we are done," he exclaimed as he handed me the newly printed timetable.

SOMETIME LATER, we got home, and I bathed the twins, fed them and put them to bed. I went down for dinner and my parents started asking me questions about the father, I wasn't ready to tell people I was raped, let alone my parents.

"You need to talk to us, who is the father?" my mom says shyly looking back between me and my father.

"I don't want to talk about it, I told you before to stop asking me!" I snapped and went to my room with Aria and Amberly. I had a shower and got ready for bed.

I had a dream about that night, in excruciating detail. I remember every place he touched, every word he said, every place he kissed and every time I tried to yell, or push, or kick he pushed himself in me harder. I felt his hands go into my hair and my head being pulled down when I tried to escape. I remember every little thing he did, and I hate it.

The next morning, I woke up to Amberly crying. She is always one to wake up first. I picked her up changed her diaper. After I changed both Aria and Amberly, I got them dressed. When I was done, I brought the girls to my mom and asked if she could watch them while I got dressed, she agreed and went back to cleaning the dishes from dinner.

I had a shower and got dressed in a white mini skirt and a blue and white polka dot shirt that ties up in the back, it's really hot out and since I am walking, I don't want to wear too much. My hair is long, down to my waist length, I put it in a fishtail braid down my shoulder and to the front of my body. I did my regular makeup. Which is a lot, a lot more than I need, I feel more confident with all of it on. I head downstairs to grab the girls and put them in their stroller. I say bye to my mom and start walking to the nearest Walmart.3

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