Fɪɴᴅɪɴɢ Hᴏᴘᴇ [Bᴏᴏᴋ 1] | 𝙏𝙤𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙞 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙤 𝙓 𝙊𝘾

10

We lived on with our lives.

I met my mother after the sports festival. Once again, we are reunited after a decade. Mother cried and apologized, forgiving me with a smile surprisingly quickly. She is nice as always, but her facial appearance changed a bit. There are wrinkles and it made me feel scared if one day her life is taken. I'd never thought of her not being in this world with me. Who else will calm me when I'm hating my old man?

What about Kyryan? She experienced her parents' death at a young age. How did she handle her thoughts and emotions?

I go downstairs and my sister is in the living room, reading a newspaper. " You're not teaching Kyryan today? "

She turns to me, a bit surprised by my voice that broke the silence. " No. They have plans this morning until late evening. "

I wonder what they have that keeps them busy for almost the whole day. A strange feeling makes me want to know, to go there and see her. What is this emotion? Obsession? Possession?

There's no way.

Why am I even thinking of her? I thought I made up my mind that she's not important in my life. She's nothing to me.

I put those thoughts aside and join my sister on the couch. I turn on the television, hoping it would keep myself from thinking of her.

I have better things to worry but out of all, why does she have to be the main? It's getting me frustrated the more I remind myself of her. I could worry about my hesitation with using my left side, I could worry about my father but not in a good way. I came in second in the sports festival and I'm sure he's not even slightest bit proud of me. What else can I do? He's stuck as the number two hero, like father like son. He should be proud because I'm being more like him. Hell, my mother doesn't like that. But just yesterday, she reminded me not to worry so much about it.

Unconsciously, I groan loudly while arching my head back. My sister from beside me is surprised from my sudden action. " Are you okay, Shouto? "

I don't say anything as I am thinking for an answer. After a whole minute, I speak. " No. "

" What's the matter? " She folds up the newspaper and sets it on the coffee table in front of us. She turns her body to fully give her attention to me. She had always been like that; caring towards me. She is such nice sister and I'm thankful to have her.

I turn down the volume of the television and sigh. " I . . . I'm not sure. I keep having these restless feelings and I'm not sure or how to deal with it. "

She purses her lips before speaking. " Is this about dad? "

" No. Not even mom. "

" School then? "

" No. "

She hums in deep thought, trying to figure out the source of my unknown feelings. " About Kyryan? " She raises her eyebrows. Surprised by her name being mentioned, I look at her as I think for a moment. I open my mouth to deny but no words came out. Her lips slowly pulls into a smirk when she found the answer. I feel embarrassed for agreeing with her that Kyryan was probably the reason I was feeling this way for the past few weeks. " What do you feel when you think of her? "

I give myself a moment before answering. " Frustration . . . and . . . " I trail off to think hard of that second feeling but I couldn't manage to find the answer. I shook my head, looking at my sister with a pleading face hoping she knows.

" Is the other emotion somewhat familiar with that restless feeling? "

I didn't have to think. I know the answer, except I don't want to admit it.