undertow | bellamy blake (book one)

30 | won't let you die

It hadn't been long since they were left alone, just with Caliban to watch the two blondes. Jovie could tell Clarke was getting anxious. She was too, but if they wanted to get out of this alive then they had to try to stay calm.

"Anya will take no pleasure in your friend's death," Caliban eventually said. Jovie looked over at him, wanting to yell at him for bringing up Finn. She didn't know if he was already dead or not and that alone made her uneasy. "Prove your worth, and you'll be welcome here."

"I couldn't save Tris. Why would you want me?" Clarke asked.

"We told you. Our healer is gone," he said.

"And me?" Jovie asked.

"You've already proven your worth, Natstrecha," he said. Clarke glanced over at Jovie. Jovie had a stoic expression on her face as if she wasn't affected by the statement, but on the inside she felt almost a sense of pride. Being acknowledged for her worth, even if it was by the Grounders, wasn't something Jovie was used to.

"Will we be able to go back to see them? Our friends, our home?" Clarke asked.

"Tomorrow there'll be nothing to go back to," he said. Clarke paused before thinking about Tris.

"Those marks on her shoulder, what were they? Lincoln has them, too," she said.

"Each scar marks a kill in combat," he said.

"Five kills? She was a little girl!" Clarke said, shocked at the truth. Jovie closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall as she listened to the two talk.

"She was brave," the Grounder stated. That was their way. Killing was a display of strength and power.

"How many do you have?" Clarke asked. Jovie reopened her eyes to look over to see Caliban pulling his shirt down a bit to show a bunch of the scars on his skin. She tried not to think about how many she would have. "That's a lot."

"And half were after I hurt my knee," he said. Suddenly, Clarke swung her knee into his stomach and knocked him to the ground. Jovie jumped up immediately when she watched Clarke slash a scalpel across his throat. Jovie reached over and clamped her hand over his mouth to stop him from screaming. They didn't need anyone knowing what Clarke had done or they would be dead immediately.

"Yu gonplei ste odon," Jovie whispered, repeating the words that Anya had said, as she shut the Grounder's eyes. Clarke looked over at her as she whispered the words then stood up.

"Jo, come on. We have to go," she said.

"What about Finn?" Jovie asked. "We can't just leave him."

"We don't even know if he's even still alive." Clarke's voice shook when she said that but she was right. They could have already killed Finn at this point, and if they didn't take this chance to run, they could be dead too. Then they would be of no use to him.

"We'll come back for him," Jovie said, more to herself than Clarke. She couldn't imagine Finn just leaving them if it were the other way around, but she knew they had to go. Whether he was dead or alive, she would go back for him.

They ran through the woods as fast as they could, not stopping to look back to see if they were being followed. Jovie found herself running so fast that when she eventually looked back, she saw Clarke was no longer behind her.

"Fuck," she mumbled, running her hand through her hair. She thought about going back to find Clarke, but she didn't even know when she had lost her. So though reluctantly, she went back to running until she saw the dim lights of the camp in the distance. Hopefully Clarke would meet up with her there.

Jovie's legs felt like they were on fire as she kept going, but she didn't stop until she was at the front gate. Guns were immediately pointed at her as she walked up, barely able to catch her breath as she put her hands on her knees and hunched over.

"Put your guns down. It's Jovie!" Miller called out, opening the gate to rush over to her. "You need to stop coming in like this or one day someone's going to actually shoot you."

"Can't wait," she said dryly. The sound of a gunshot from inside camp made her straighten up though.

"We've all been on watch all day! That bullet was one less dead Grounder!" She could hear Bellamy screaming.

"Bell, you're scaring people," Octavia said. Jovie walked up behind Bellamy as he continued to scream at them.

"They should be scared! The bomb on the bridge bought us some time to prepare, but that time is up! The Grounders are out there right now, waiting for us to leave and picking us off one by one when we do! Clarke, Finn, Monty, and... and Jovie are gone, probably dead." He hadn't seen her yet but she could hear the fear in his voice as he spoke to the delinquents. He sounded powerless. "And if you want to be next, I can't stop you, but no guns are leaving this camp! This camp is the only thing keeping us alive! Get back to work!"

The second he turned around he made eye contact with her, but he didn't even react. It was almost like he thought she wasn't real.

"I'm back," she said. She probably shouldn't have made a joke about it because Finn and Clarke were still out there, but it was her defense mechanism. Bellamy just stood there staring at her as Octavia rushed in and basically tackled the girl.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Octavia asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said.

"Where's Finn? And Clarke?" Raven asked, stepping forward out of the crowd.

"Anya had us in some cabin. Clarke and I managed to escape but I lost her in the woods," Jovie said, pausing when she thought of Finn. "I don't know where Finn is," she said honestly. He could be dead for all she knew. "Wait, where's Monty?" She asked, remembering that Bellamy had mentioned his name when he was giving his speech.

"We don't know," Octavia said solemnly. "He was out there in the woods with us when we found Myles. But then we found his walkie on the ground."

"Myles is here? He's okay?" Jovie asked. The last time she had seen Myles was when he was shot in the chest and leg with the arrows. She thought he would have died after they were taken. Octavia nodded her head and Jovie let out a sigh of relief. The kid was strange but he didn't deserve to die.

When Jovie saw that Bellamy was still just standing there staring at her, she gave Octavia and Raven a look and they nodded in understanding before walking off. Jovie walked up to Bellamy, feeling uncertain. She would have thought that he would have been relieved to see her but he was acting like he didn't even care. "You gonna say anything?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were going?" He said.

"I didn't think it would matter," she said. "We were just going hunting."

"Yeah and look how that turned out!" He screamed. He wasn't actually mad at her but rather at the situation. He felt out of control whenever something like this happened, when someone went missing or was hurt or killed. And it was Jovie way too many times.

"I didn't think this would happen," she defended herself. Though, she supposed maybe at this point they should just expect it.

"That's the problem! You don't think, Jovie," he snapped. "It's like you don't care about your life. All you do is put yourself in danger. And maybe you don't care, but there are people that do."

"I put my life in danger so other people don't have to," Jovie shot back. She did care about her life, of course she did, but she cared more about making sure other people were safe. "If I had to sacrifice myself to make sure you're all safe, then I would do it in a heartbeat. And I won't apologize for that." It was quiet between the two for a while before Bellamy spoke again.

"I know," he eventually said, surprising Jovie. He had give in so easily, but he had learned that Jovie would always do what she had to to keep the people she cared about safe, even if it meant risking her life to do it. She was brave beyond belief, almost to the point where he questioned whether she even feared anything. It didn't mean he liked it, but he understood that it was just in her nature. What he didn't realize was she was so brave and did whatever she could to protect them because her biggest fear was losing them... losing him. He walked over to her and grabbed her hand. "But I won't let you die." Because his biggest fear was losing her.