bulletproof

13

Clint had gone to visit his family that weekend and everyone else had been called out on a mission, so Y/N was alone in the Tower. Unfortunately, there was nothing to do or eat and she couldn't be bothered with going to the grocery store, so she was left with staring blankly as episode after episode of Friends played on the large TV screen in the main living room. She had changed her position on the sofa about a bazillion times in an attempt (or several) to somehow find it interesting, but to be honest, Friends was a boring show. She couldn't stand Monica screaming "I know!!!" but didn't want to be met with the soul-sucking silence of the Tower, so she kept the TV on.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. sounded through the invisible speakers, notifying her that it was almost time for dinner and that she should eat something. Y/N rolled off the sofa, landing painfully on the ground before dragging her feet to the kitchen and picking up the landline, something Steve had installed months ago to annoy Tony, and now everyone uses it.

She called the local pizza place and ordered a large pizza, telling the person down the hone to throw whatever on it. Her smartphone buzzed on the kitchen countertop, while the landline was in her hand, and she checked it, snorting at the goofy selfie Nat had sent while fighting HYDRA. Tony was t-posing in the top left corner and Sam had jumped just as the camera clicked. She sent a string of emoticons, showing how much she was laughing on the inside. 

"Ma'am, your pizza has arrived." F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice jolted her out of her thoughts and she told the AI to just send the pizza up. After a few minutes, it arrived and she cut up the pieces, shoving a slice whole into her mouth.

After munching on pizza, she wandered throughout the Tower, humming along to a few cartoon show theme songs and dragging her hands along the walls, stopping sometimes to admire the view of the New York skyline. 

Eventually, she found herself on the roof of the tower, leaning against the ledge with her eyes closed, feeling the wind breeze past her softly, sifting through her hair. It relaxed her, keeping her calm and almost zen. The sound of a plane cracked her relaxed feelings, replacing them with a racing heart and adrenaline. 

Her knuckles turned white from the tight grip on the ledge as she forced her breathing to steady itself again. In. Out. The plane had triggered another onslaught of flashbacks to when she was lying on the floor of the jet, bleeding out as Steve clutched her hand with a death-tight hold. 

The uneasy feeling faded away and she exhaled loudly, slumping down and leaning against the wall, her legs splayed out in front of her as she sat on the tiled floor. Thor hadn't come to visit them in a while, though, who can blame him? It's exhausting being so cheerful all the time. It's not like it's something she forces, but it drains her, being everyone's support.

She stared, up into the light-polluted sky, watching, waiting, for anything or anyone flying. Tony, or Sam, or, hell, maybe even Thor. She just wanted someone to talk to, someone who wouldn't fret or hound her until she felt happy again. She couldn't bring herself to talk to Steve about it because she couldn't stand his worry. It stressed her out more than anything in the world.

Y/N sighed and got back up on her feet, walking back down to the kitchen and picking up the phone, dialling a number she'd known all her life and memorised since she could remember.

The phone beeped a few times and then a crackled but achingly familiar voice came out through the speaker. Y/N hesitated, waiting for the person on the other end to start up the conversation.

"Hello? Who is this?" The voice had an incredibly strong Russian accent and Y/N chewed at her bottom lip before resorting to answering back in Russian. A language she hadn't spoken since she left.

~~~

Nat shot down the last standing agent, staring at him with cold dead eyes as she pulled the trigger before putting her gun on safety and tucking it in a holster on her belt. She stood there, watching the man bleed out his life before her, not feeling a single thing for the vile creature. Bodies and bits of wreckage from tanks were scattered across the battlefield, the Avengers were the only ones standing. 

"Nat?" Steve placed a hand tentatively on her shoulder, snapping her out of her reverie.

She held back the urge to beat him up like the others and she had to remind herself that he was a friend. It was sometimes hard to remember who and where she was. Sometimes, she'd feel like that little girl in the Red Room, fighting to stay sane all over again, and she'd get a shock when she'd find herself in a different place. It was almost like she had an alternate version of herself, a version who only saw red and slaughtered people without blinking an eye. She dared not tell anyone about it because of the horror on their faces when told. The only person who hadn't looked at her like she was a monster was Y/N, who instead wrapped her arms around her tightly and promised she'd keep it a secret until Nat wanted it to be let out.

Natasha looked over at him, masking the pain weaving itself around her heart as she recalled how Y/N distanced herself away from everyone which was starting to reveal itself in her facial expressions with indifference and coolness. No emotions. Feeling things is for the pitiful and weak. 

"Let's just get back to the jet," she replied, sharply, marching away as a wave of frustration swept in and destroyed her ramifications of emotional strength. All she wanted was to confide in Y/N again and have her best friend back.

A/N *Okay, idk about this chapter because I was really tired when I wrote this (because I never work on anything until it's like 22.00 😂) So if you see any mistakes or whatever, don't hesitate to comment or message me about it! Anyway, I posted an announcement on this but I'll just repeat myself, I have basically 4 weeks of busy-ness so everything's gonna be hectic in my life SO I don't know when the next chapter will be posted BUT I can promise you that I'll try my best to stay within the pattern of more or less 1 chapter per week!

Anyway, almost the weekend!!!! Have a good holiday next week if you guys have one – I do but then I have exams so I'm just gonna be studying all week :( *