bulletproof

22

Her fist froze in mid-air, hovering over the wood of the door, expressing her uncertainty to disturb him. Her gaze hardened as she came to the conclusion to knock and her knuckles rapped on the wood softly, getting louder with each knock as more surety took control of her actions. Yes, she was going to talk to him. No, he wasn't a threat. She was going to regard him as a new friend. That's all. A new friend.

The door swung open and the tired figure of Bucky stared back at her, looking slightly confused at her standing there. She didn't move a single millimetre, not even to blink, and her face was devoid of emotion before the still mask of her face shattered from the force of a bright smile.

"Good morning!" She greeted, pushing her smile to the extremes until her cheeks started to ache. She saw the startled look in his eyes and quickly softened her look, making her smile smaller and dialling down her over the top friendliness.

"Good morning," HIs voice still sounded croaky with disuse and he still had the wary air about him, like he was going to jump at the slightest unanticipated noise.

"I thought maybe we could take a walk?" She offered weakly, fiddling with the hem of her shirt, nervous.

Y/N had composed a full-page plan on what she was going to do with Bucky, to make him feel more secure and happy. Some part of her was doing this because...well...guilt was gnawing away at her. She had been part of his torture programme, after all. Knowing this had created a feeling of self-disgust and revulsion towards herself. She had been part of his pain. Y/N had read his files, she had seen the facts in print. The nightmare-ish things that had happened to him had anyone feel queasy reading.

"I..." He appeared hesitant and she felt guilty being hopeful of him saying 'no', "I... I don't know...if you want to..." He looked broken. Everything, his posture, his eyes flitting side to side, betrayed his cautious and destroyed self. HYDRA had really done a run on him. He was nothing like the Bucky Steve had briefly described of him.

Y/N reassured him, "Whatever you want."

Bucky swallowed, hard, finally coming to the conclusion, "Okay..."

She beamed at him, a piece of her feeling like she was doing something good while fixing part of herself too, "It doesn't have to be a long walk if you don't want it to be. I just thought it might be good to get some fresh air."

He nodded slowly, turning back to his room, "I'll...I'll just get my shoes and then um..."

"I'll wait for you," She replied, sounding comforting.

"Thanks," She swore she could see a glimmer of a smile grace his lips as he turned to his room, but it might have been the light. Nevertheless, the smile or no, it had solidified her idea. She was going to befriend Bucky Barnes, even if it killed her.

~~~

He wasn't really sure how to react to her. He thought she was going to be running away screaming from him when he had admitted what her dancing was used for, but instead, she was nothing but nice. It was a drastic change, going from HYDRA to the Avengers.

They had been walking along the river for about ten minutes, not uttering a single between the two of them until Y/N spoke up, breaking the silence with her clear voice, "I know you have some problems in relocating certain memories..." She started cautiously, and he could hear in her tone her caginess in her words, "But...if it isn't too difficult, could you tell me how it works? How can you remember certain things and not others?"

Bucky shrugged, he hadn't really thought of it that much, to be honest, "It's like remembering one thing and not the other...sometimes I'll see a face and remember and sometimes I don't." He sounded way too casual for this conversation, but his relaxed voice was forced, frayed at the edges.