bulletproof

26

*just realised I've forgotten to add photos at the beginning of every chapter*

Tony shakily put the phone down after asking for Bruce and Clint to return back to the base immediately. He shot a look at Bucky, but the man was sitting on the sofa, staring at his hands. The information still hadn't really processed in his brain...he, he didn't believe it, because he couldn't believe it. It didn't make any sense. She was there. They had joked about that morning. And now she wasn't? It just, it couldn't happen. It shouldn't have happened.

What the hell was he supposed to tell Steve? That his best friend for basically a century killed the love of his life? No. He wouldn't be able to do it.

Tony cleared his throat and walked warily to Bucky, placing a careful, hovering hand on his shoulder, "D'you want coffee or tea?" He offered, comfortingly.

Bucky lifted his shaggy head to stare Tony directly in the eyes. Grief was pouring out of him like he was a broken faucet. He couldn't stop replaying Y/N die. And her words. Her begging. Her tears, everything.

It was his fault, obviously. He murdered her.

"Have you told the others?" His voice was cracked and his throat was scratched.

Tony's gaze softened and he shook his head, "Not yet...I," he cleared his throat, "I thought it might be better to tell the others in person. She was, is, no was, close with everyone, y'know?"

"Okay."

"I'm going to make coffee...do you want a cup?" The genius asked, removing his hand from Bucky's shoulder and tucking it in the back pocket of his jeans.

Bucky swallowed, "No, thank you."

"Okay." Tony got up and headed into the kitchen, staggering a little as the full force of Y/N slammed into his head like a truck. He leant against the door for support as memories of her flashed through his mind. Her laughing, her crying, her being alive. It was all over now. Like a snap of the fingers, gone.

His breath got louder and heavier and his movements were slow as he forced himself back to walking and entered the kitchen. He could see where she was sitting this morning. On that stool, closest to the sink.

His heart gave a painful lurch in his chest as he saw her smile. Wide and bright. It was almost like she was in the room again...about to greet him and slide him his cup of coffee.

He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, Y/N was gone.

Tony held back a cry as it crept up his throat and into his mouth. Tears pricked at his eyes, and his fingers couldn't press the right buttons on the coffee machine.

Why her? Why her of all people? He should have gone. He should have died instead of her. He could have.

~~~

"What's up?" Clint asked, dropping his bag to the ground, "What's so important that you had to interrupt our holiday?"

Tony looked at him, his eyes glimmering with sorrow as he formulated the words in his brain.

"Tony?" Bruce questioned, frowning as he saw the exhausted look on his friend's face, "What's wrong? Where're Y/N and Bucky?"

Tony's breath shuddered as it blew out of him, "That's what I called you here for...there was a, um, situation...can we go to the living room?"

Clint and Bruce exchanged a confused look before shrugging and following Tony through to the living room, sitting opposite him on a sofa and waiting for him to tell them what was wrong.