Let Me In || Ticci Toby x Reader

11|| Forced

I feel particularily weak. My body has not moved in over a day. I haven't even used the restroom. To add to that, my mouth is dry and I feel painfully empty inside.

It's almost time. And I feel a wide range of emotions. My family being left behind fills me with sorrow. The luck that ended me in this situation stimulates pity. And there is disappointment in that cocktail as well, stemming from my lack of drive and motivation to leave. In all that I am no longer angry at the people here, just myself. Maybe if I wasn't at deaths doorstep, already hearing his footsteps coming to open the door and welcome me, I could find it in my heart to forgive them. Just not for murdering innocent people.

I'm not ready, I realize. It's coming too fast. I know I'm taking the last few breaths I'll ever have the honour of blessing my lungs with. Inside my chest is my heart, slowly growing weaker until it can no longer serve its purpose. There are still things I want to do. Go to college, graduate from college, get a job, buy a house, meet new people. Just experience life. And I'll gladly sacrifice all of that just so that I can experience life to its fullest. But I've made a mistake in forcing myself into an early grave. I'm the only one to blame.

As I cling to the time that I have left, reflecting on my short but good life, I hear a knock on the door. It's Toby, without a doubt. I want to tell him thanks for everything that he did to try and comfort me. Even if it wasn't enough, it was more effort than anyone else in this house put in.

"I'll let you in on a secret, okay?" Toby sounds kind of sad. I know I'm the reason to blame. And I feel remorse for it. "We're like a brotherhood here. We look out for each other and will save each other's skin when we need it. I'm trying to do that for you. Please just let me in."

I like the sound of all of that. Always having someone there to back you up, to have your back and make sure you're okay. It really does sound nice. And I want that.

As I am positioned now, I'm sitting on the floor with my back against the side of my bed. I lose strength by holding myself up. What I need to keep myself upright has deteriorated for the sake of keeping my major organs functional. I fall to the floor and my limbs sprawl out, making a bigger thud than one would think a starving and frail girl could make.

"What was that?!" Toby asks. He slams on the door. If I could tell him, I'd say I was just losing what little life force I have left. "Stay back!"

After that warning, I hear a whacking at the door. After a few more whacks of wood being destroyed the door handle falls off and tumbles to the carpeted floor. The door gets kicked in. There I see a man standing there wielding a hatchet. That must be Toby.

I look up to Toby desperately. He pulls down a mouth guard, letting it hang around his neck along with a pair of orange goggles. I see a bit of stubble around his chin. It's not that patchy, I'm impressed. He also has this strange pale skin that looks slightly more grey than flesh-toned and a gash on the corner of his mouth. And he also looks pretty damn cute. Seeing him in the light makes it easier to make out his facial features.

"Clockwork can you grab the eggs?!" He shouts down the hallway. I don't hear a response but someone running down some stairs.

Toby rushes into the room and kneels down by my side. He pulls my head up and onto his lap, elevating it to probably help force me to eat the eggs he asked for.

"How the hell did you get this bad?" He asks, clicking afterwards. I can barely muster up the strength to keep my eyes open, much less answer. The question seems rhetoric anyway. "Why?"

It takes less than a minute but a girl runs into the room carrying a carton of eggs. She seems out of breath and confused. When she looks at me though, she understands.

"Oh my god, what the hell did you do to yourself?" The girl asks. I get a good look at her face. Although she is a killer it appears kind, yet laced with several menacing features, some of which are a clock for an eye and criss-cross stitches at the corners of her mouth.

The girl, who Toby referred to as Clockwork earlier, opens the carton and cracks the egg. They're seriously not going to feed it to me raw, are they? I saw that in a movie about women's sufferage once, but didn't think that would actually happen off of a movie set or anyone but gym bodybuilding freaks who eat raw protein powder.

"This will be gross, so try not to throw up," Toby says. I try to move my hand to slap the egg away. But I feel a soft glove hold my hand by my side. Not like I could move it much with how weak I am anyway.

In a joint effort, the raw egg is slipped into my mouth. Toby holds my bottom jaw open while Clockwork opens the egg and lets the slimy contents slop onto my tongue. Toby then gently closes my mouth and holds it there. His head jerks to his shoulder. Tears spring to my eyes. It's disgusting, I hate it. Not only does the texture remind me of slugs but what little taste there is, is really gross in a way words can not describe. If there was anything in my stomach, it would have risen to join the egg. But instead, I just gag and force the egg down to get rid of my suffering.

Toby releases his hand from my jaw and lets me gasp and breathe heavily through my mouth. In my gasps, I start to sob a little. This is all just too much stress for my body to handle.

My stomach flips out with the arrival of food. I practically hear it splat against the inside of my empty stomach. It starts to hurt as if rejecting the food after going so long without it. But I know it's because I am just used to going without food that my body doesn't know how to handle it.

"Just one more and I'll make sure to cook some more for you. We can't have you throwing up," Clockwork says. Toby then holds my jaw open again, head jerking to the side before returning to watch me. I accept the situation and just let it happen with tears falling from my eyes. Clockwork cracks another egg and drops it into my mouth. I swallow almost immediately, trying to get it off of my taste buds as soon as I can. The haunting taste and texture still linger though, a ghost that is not welcome.

Clockwork then stands up to go cook the eggs and bring more food back. While she leaves, taking the carton with her, Toby stays by my side. He just watches me, pity in his eyes as I just cry.

I feel nauseous, I'm anxious, my body is shaking from all that and the cold and I also failed to make my point. This sucks. Truly and utterly sucks. All I want is to feel okay again. Or even just normal, as close to normal as I can be now.