Mind Games (Princeton love story)

Heart Break

hola :)

first of all it's making me sad to say this book is coming to an end . there's about 2 or 3 chapters left  :( which sucks cause I'm gonna miss writing it :/

but anyway , after I'm done with this I'm creating a new book and I'll pay more attention to Unconditional Love :) 

mmm that's it...enjoy :D :D :D

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"babe I'm going to the bathroom real quick and then we can go over and watch the sunset okay?" I nodded my head smiling a little as Jacob pecked my lips and left my side . spring break would end in 3 days so we were making sure we're spending a lot of time together before we go back to school . 

we were at the fair , just laughing and hanging around , eating ice cream and funnel cake , playing games and just having a nice time . I have no idea what came upon Jacob the past couple of weeks but he was being really considerate lately . I don't know whether to be happy about it or suspect it , because it's honestly hard to believe that I've managed to change him that easy considering he turned out to be much smarter than I thought . but in all honestly , I have stopped trying any games with him since the day we made love . I don't know what happened that day but I felt committed to him and I took our relationship seriously .

maybe I stopped that because I got tired of the games . maybe I stopped because he would obviously always defeat me . maybe I stopped because I felt him truly change....and maybe I stopped because I was starting to fall for him .

falling in love was never in any of my plans . I never even believed in "love"  until it happened to me . and I'm so mad at myself because I can't do anything about it . I'm helpless . I can't control my feelings and I guess I can't do anything about the fact that I was in love right now .

at first I thought I was delusional , I mean how can I just grow to love him out of NOWHERE...but I guess love has no explanations , no conditions , that's why it drove people crazy all over the world . and the more time I spent with him and the more we got to know each other I couldn't help but develop feelings , And what hurts the most is that I know I'd have to end that...very soon . I would have to end us .

I sighed thinking about it as I sat on a near bench . I shut my eyes tightly and leaned my head back covering my eyes with my hands . "why is this so difficult" I groaned . "what's so difficult ?" Jacob asked sliding next to me . I shook my head and smiled at him weakly "nothing" . "mhmm..." he looked unconvinced but let it go . "let's go before we miss the sunset" he said grabbing my hand pulling me up . 

we reached a corner that didn't really have many people . we were facing that very familiar view of the sunset he had let me once watch when we went to the beach . Jacob stood behind me wrapping his arms around me resting his chin on my shoulder . I put my hands over his as we stayed in silence watching the sun come down and the sea glistening . After a while we left for Jacob's house . I was going to spend the night over his house as we planned , but I was really nervous and shaking a bit because of what I had to do . today I would have to do the hardest part about this whole thing . with other guys it used to be the moment of victory when I leave them , but knowing I've really grown to love him , this will hurt so bad .

If you're thinking "why would you leave him if you love him so much" well...this isn't what I came here to do . yes , yes I love Jacob , but my purpose was to get him ready to be everything one girl could ask for . and I wasn't planning for that girl to be me . falling for him was something that came unexpectedly and it is what it is...we're not supposed to be . I can't take it anymore . I would have to leave .