Loving the Enemy

Olivia-18

Pic of Olivia^
Dear someone,
Karma's such a pretty ass bitch.
-Olivia

her outfit^
•
Eventually one must love their self enough to know when it's time to let go of things they were never supposed to hold on to.

It's finally the most anticipated Monday of my entire life. Spring breaks over and so are all of my friendships. Maybe I'm being melodramatic but lately, I've been feeling this overwhelming need to protect my energy at all costs. The thing is I  love Madeline, she will always be like a sister to me but, I can't keep being her friend right now. I woke up half an hour earlier than what I usually did for school taking a particularly long shower before dressing in the most scandalous outfit I have. It's this mesh black bralette with flowers covering the important parts and I pair it with a casual pair of light washed jeans and a black belt.  I slide on a pair of black heels that once belonged to my mother. Suddenly my arms break out in goosebumps immediately missing the warmth of my usual warm sweaters.

My eyes are red and swollen still revealing what I'm so desperately trying to hide. I apply the concealer under the dark circles and when I'm finished applying the heavy makeup on my face I can help but just stare myself in anger.
"Why can't you just be okay?" I find myself asking the question I've heard ringing in my head out loud.
My naturally curly wild hair is all over my head so I try my best to tame it with moose parting my hair down the middle then pinning each side behind my ears with bobby pins. I can't remember a time where I actually cared enough to put this much effort into my appearance and the more I look at myself, the more I see how easy it must be to hate a face like mine. The tears are coming again and I bite my lip hard to try to stop them from coming. It works, for now.

My phone rings and I look down to see its,Jeremy. "Hey," I say while grabbing my small black backpack and putting it over one of my shoulders. "I'm outside, wouldn't want to be late on your first day back right?" My heart momentarily stops, wait what?

I look outside my bedroom window and sure enough, there's his black car parked outside. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming, I was totally planning on just walking or catching a bus you didn't have to come out your way-"
"Hey, are you kidding? Of course I came to get you, babe." That one word was like a punch in the stomach. Babe. I wonder if he'd still use that word towards me once he figures out what actually happened in that office.

Me and Jeremy got pretty close the night we met and spent multiple-night together...he ended up taken my virginity so I guess I do have some kind of emotional attachment to him. He's older than me however and we haven't known each other very long but it's obvious he expects monogamy from me already though he's never officially claimed me.

I walk downstairs carefully to make sure my mom actually went to work already, I'm sure if she seen me dressed like this she'd have a heart attack. I go straight to the fridge to get out a glass of Starbucks vanilla coffee and then grab a bagel. Jeremy meets me at the front door and I'm surprised when he greets me with a long kiss. His hands grip my waist and I can't help the moan that slips out my mouth I try to pull away from him embarrassed but he held on to me a little longer before letting go. His eyes got wider as he stares at my chest in obvious shock before moving all the way back to my face. "You look...different."
I can tell he means this is a good way but he's afraid to offend me and I just smile as I feel the heat rush to my face. He grabs my hand and leads me to the passenger side of his car opening and closing the door before he moved to his side.