Sterek(oneshots)

I never existed

Stiles rolled out of Derek's bed, grabbing his underwear and pants in a hurry.

"I'll see you later?" Stiles asked, trying to keep the hopefulness out of his tone.

"Sure," Derek nodded, his eyes on a book in his lap.

"It's Theo and I's anniversary soon," Stiles said, pulling on his shirt.

Derek didn't respond.

"I'm thinking of breaking up with him," Stiles eyed Derek for any reaction. A hopeful glint in his eyes or a curve of his lips into a smile. But he didn't get either of those.

Derek remained emotionless as he spoke. "Not on my account I hope."

Stiles' tongue flicked across his lower lip before his teeth sunk into it. His eyes dropping in embarrassment.

"We've talked about this, Stiles," Derek huffed, his eyes still trained on his book.

"No, you talked, I listened," Stiles objected, his tone sharper than he intended.

"I know you always say you'd give him away for me, But I've never been the one for commitment. I'm gonna leave you either way if you stay with me. So go home, and tell him I never existed," Derek finally met Stiles' eyes. He hated seeing them sad, but he couldn't give Stiles what he wanted.

"But he-"Stiles started but Derek cut in.

"I don't wanna hear it if it isn't involved with me, cause your relationship is none of my business."

Stiles took in a deep breath before huffing it out, "If you don't have any kind of feelings for me then why am I here?" he'd been dying to ask that question since the second time they met up.

Derek rose his brows at Stiles, "For the sex."

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip again. It hurt to hear Derek talk like that. Yeah, the sex was great, but Stiles loved Derek. Had for a while. It took a couple drinks to get the guy talking but when he did, he was sweet and less guarded, and Stiles fell for him. But sober Derek was gruff, and distant and rejected Stiles over and over and yet he kept coming back. Just like with Theo. No matter how much they fought and how shitty Theo treated him, he kept going back. Why couldn't he find someone who wanted him no matter what?

Derek watched at Stiles walked out of his loft without another word. He wondered if that was the end of him and Stiles. A twisting in his stomach reminded him that it was a good thing if so. Getting attached was never part of the plan and yet here he was, dying to rush after Stiles and tell him to leave Theo, to never go back. To stay with him instead. However, bitter experience kept him in bed. Half of him hoping to never see Stiles again, the other half already missing his touch.

Stiles fought the tears in his eyes as he climbed into his jeep. What had just been a drunken one night stand to get over Theo after their first break up, had turned into a regular meeting. After the first night, Stiles had craved more of what Derek made him feel; alive and wanted. When Derek had made it clear that nothing else would ever develop, Stiles told himself it was for the best and when Theo came crawling back, begging for Stiles to give him another chance, he did. But he couldn't ever get Derek out of his head. It had taken a week for Stiles and Theo to start fighting again, and in a fit of rage, Stiles called Derek.

Derek didn't care that Stiles was still technically with Theo. He was willing to keep the secret if Stiles was, and it had been surprisingly easy for Stiles. So easy he'd been doing it for close to six months. Any time Stiles and Theo fought, Stiles would find himself seeking out Derek.

When Stiles started to hint at something more between him and Derek though, Derek got more distant. He reminded Stiles that it was strictly physical between them and it never failed to hurt, but Stiles had promised himself that he'd leave one or both of them before Theo and his one-year anniversary. He'd hoped that with the news that Stiles was leaving Theo, Derek would accept him with open arms. But Derek made it very clear that he was not an option for Stiles.