When the Stars Align

Chapter Eight

Sirius had calmed down significantly with Remus there consoling him and helping him through this. Yes, he was without a home, but he most certainly had a family, even if not related to him by blood.

Sirius leaned against a big oak tree and studied Remus’ pitiful face, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, Sirius? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Remus said, holding his hand. The feeling of Remus’ warm palm over his wind chilled wingers made a chill run down Sirius’ spinne, in the best way possible.

“Yes I do. You can’t go home either, I’m being selfish,” Sirius said, trying to pull his hand away, but Remus held on to it.

“I understand why I can’t go home. I wouldn’t want to put a baby in danger, especially not my sister, Sirius. If I’m being completely honest, it was as much my choice as it was my mother’s. I can’t help what I become. My mother loves me, I know that, but she also understands that I’m a monster,” Remus didn’t look sorry for himself, but there was sorrow in his eyes, directed towards Sirius. He continued giving Sirius’ hand a squeeze, “But you…you can’t help what you are either and I understand that we’re the same in that manner. The difference between us is that I have a mother who I know still loves me, and you have a family that is cold-blooded and heartless. And you’ve had to grow up with that your whole life; being told that the only way you mattered was to be a pure-blood wizard, excelling in school and steering clear of the common wealth. Being told that differences are ugly. That’s no way to live. You don’t realize how strong I think you are.” Now he let go of his hand.

Sirius had tears in his eyes again, but he could see the blurry outline of Remus’ lips curved up slightly. HE wanted to tell him how much of a difference he had made, tell him that he was the reason he was able to be the strong person that he thought he was. He wanted to tell him that everything he did was for him. That it wouldn’t matter if he had to live on the streets for all of eternity; if he could be with him, he would be happy. Sirius wanted so badly to tell Remus that he loved him.

But instead, he nodded and smiled. And Remus seemed to think that the small gesture was enough.

“Let’s go back to Gryffindor, Padfoot. I need to sit by the fire, its freezing down here,” Remus stood and held out his hand to help Sirius up.

Sirius took his hand and pulled himself onto his feet, “Don’t you want to get dinner?” It was early in the evening. Sirius couldn’t see himself eating tonight, but Remus had to be hungry.

Remus shook his head, “That’s okay, you need someone right now. I don’t think it’s good for you to be alone right now, but I also think that being around a lot of people would be stressful. So you’ve got me. Is that okay?”

Sirius smiled a little and nodded. As they started walking back up to the castle, another thought crept into his mind that wiped the smile off of his face again.

“Moony, are things going to change now that you know?” he asked quietly, his voice just audible above the wind.

“Am I going to look at you differently, you mean?” he verified.

“Yes.”

“Yes. It’s hard not to, but not in the way you think,” Remus said, vaguely.

“What do you mean by that?” Sirius asked, confused and a little intrigued.

“We’ll see,” Remus replied simply.

“We’ll see? You’re a bloody arse, you know that?” Sirius joked, chuckling.

Remus smirked, “I know.”

~~~

“Happy Field Trip Day, Padfoot!” Remus exclaimed, sitting on Sirius’ bed heavily so as to wake him up.