His Hope

Part 23: Where Do We Go From Here?

23

Louisa stood in front of Xavier's door with James behind her 'preventing her from running away' as he put it. She took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock for the fifth time.

"Okay, your knocking privileges have been revoked," James said as he raised his hand, banging on the door before she could stop him. He ignored the eyes glaring daggers into the back of his head. He went to knock again just as the door opened.

"James?" Xavier croaked, at the same time James said, "Jeez you look like shit."

"What are you doing here?" Xavier sighed rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

"You mean what are we doing here?" James grinned before stepping to the side, revealing the two lovebirds to each other.

Xavier stood up straighter when he saw the girl that had consumed his every waking thought as well as his dreams. He was well aware of how terrible he looked but was more concerned with how she looked. He reached for her before he could stop himself checking the bruise that covered the side of her face and the cut that was still laced with stitches. Louisa let him assess her, her heartwarming from the care that he showed her. When he decided she was okay, he used everything left in him to pull away from her.

"Right well I'm gonna skedaddle." James shuffled away from the couple before adding, "call me if you need me." He directed the comment towards her and she nodded smiling softly at him.

It was silent for a moment before Xavier remembered to invite her in. The blush that coated her cheeks made his stomach flip and he looked away from her.

"How are you?" Her sweet voice kissed his ears and he allowed himself to feel it fully as he tried to clear the mess that was now his living room.

"Better now," he said honestly. Being able to see her for himself, know she was ok, made a big part of him relax. He had been so worried the past 2 days, barely sleeping or eating anything. All he could think about was never seeing her again.

She watched him move around his living room, clearing the clutter. She wasn't sure what to say or where to start and he seemed deep in thought. She took a seat on the familiar couch, not able to take her eyes off of him. Even in his disheveled state, he looked amazing.

"So, you made it 3 hours alone, in a car, with James?" Xavier finally broke the silence as he sat down in the recliner, clasping his hands together in front of him.

"Don't remind me," Louisa's face fell as she remembered their trip here. "He's a good guy, but my goodness, he can make a girl want to rip her hair out." She grumbled, meeting his eye.

The corner of his mouth pulled up at her and it stayed when she met his eyes. "What are you doing here Lou?" He said he needed to know where they stood. Being so close, yet so far from her was killing him.

Louisa's eyes dropped from his and she fiddled with her shirt nervously. It felt like she went back to 2 weeks ago in his hotel room, fumbling over her words, she couldn't believe how far they'd come. Taking a deep breath, she met his eyes again. "I..." she tried, and for the first time in weeks, her brain had actually stopped her from saying what was on her mind. She closed her eyes, reminding herself what James had told her.

"Lou... it's just me, you can tell me anything." He said into the still air. He hated the distance between them, how closed off she was now. He hated that she felt she couldn't be herself with him. He had ruined everything and he was spiraling in a sea of self-inflicted torture because of it. Suddenly she was in front of him, her hands on his own, wearing a concerned expression. He wondered momentarily if he was going crazy, wasn't he the one that should be kneeling before her, begging for her forgiveness?