Cry of menace

Chapter 18

I'm back in the basement. I can still smell the metallic stench of the blood. I can't stop thinking about what William said. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe it's because of me that all my children died.

You don't deserve to be a Mom

Maybe I don't.

I want to get out of here. The small room is making me nauseous. I want to stop the voices. I can hear them in my head screaming at me , calling me names, telling me that I killed the babies.

I go in the bathroom and shut the door. I take the pills prescribed to me and look at myself in the mirror. I look different, unkempt. My cheeks are sunken . There's bones sticking out of my body. My back is covered in bruises. The bruises on my face has faded but I don't know for how long it's going to stay like that. I'm so used to seeing my face blue and black that now it seems wierd .

Your fault

No

Your fault

I punch the mirror. The glass scatters everywhere. My hands are still covered in bandages . My  bandaged hand slowly turns red.

I start crying. I don't know why.

I just want this to end. I just want this to stop. I can't do it anymore.

Coward

I cry harder. I couldn't tell the cops the truth. Deep down I know why. I've lost everything and in a wierd way I didn't want to lose William because there is no one else. What would I do if he was arrested. None of his brothers or sisters would have helped me . His mother hates my gut , she ruined my marriage. What was I going to do ? So I didn't tell them the truth.

I have no idea what William is going to do to me. I just hope that he let's me go or atleast he gets to know the truth. I still care for him but I don't love him , not after everything he did to me. It can never get back the way it was before and I accept that. I just want to be in a peaceful way , I want to forget everything.

...

They both waited . Amelia nervously kept striding across the room and William held the pregnancy test tightly in his hand waiting for the dots to disappear and the result to appear. They both were extremely nervous and giddy.

As soon as it said Pregnant on the test , William screamed and ran towards Amelia. Kissing and hugging , they both laughed and cried tears of happiness. William made Amelia sit on the bed and softly touched her belly.

" You have made me the happiest man in this world Amelia!"

She blushed . They had been trying for a while and now it finally happened. It was hard for both of them because of the previous miscarriages . This was the happiest moment of her life.

...

I had never envisioned my life to become like this. I winced and leaned back against the door when I felt excruciating pain in my lower body. I had been sitting here for a while now. I tried to sleep on the floor but I couldn't and the only comfortable way to sit was against the wall.

My mind was getting foggy due to the medicines. I wanted to sleep but as soon as I closed my eyes , I would only see blood. I wish I could erase my mind , erase all the memories from the past year.

I got up and twisted the knob , I was perplexed when the door opened. I had assumed that he had locked me inside. My mind kept getting groggy as I walked towards the hallways. I blinked my eyes , getting rid of the stupor and sat on the sofa in the living room.

I didn't see William or the maid . I sat with my spine straight and stared blankly at the tv screen. I thought I was looking at someone else but then realized that it is me in the reflection. I quickly averted my gaze and looked around the room. Everything looked blank . Like nothing belonged in the house. Everything felt out of place. I used to call this house mine but now I don't think I have the right to.

Nothing in here feels like house. We spent so many years living in here,  They had so many memories. I always thought that this house had all my best memories but now it was all wrecked with the bad ones. Even if I tried ,I couldn't reminisce the good ones. Thinking about Posie is too hard. It hurts my heart to think about her.

I touch my face to find it wet with tears . I wipe my face with my gown and curl up on the sofa. It smells like Posie . I dig my face deeper into it and slowly sleep consumes me.

...

I'm so sorry about the late updates. I literally forget about this book. I really want to complete this book as soon as possible. College and studies is really stressing me out and I'm pretty sure I won't get time to complete this book next year so I'm going to try really hard to update as much as I can. Thank you everyone for reading my book. Love you all .