"6 & Davidson Series" (True) Life Stories By; Roberto Dilemma

"6&Davidson" pt. 7 "Slamin' in the Park" (roballen2)

    A few years back, on a Saturday night. I had this fucked up toothache. The kids were watching TV with me & the wife. It got time they were suppose to go to bed. I mentioned this to my woman. She started putting them to bed.
    I started boiling some Needle Nose Pliers.
    You see....I had had enough of that tooth. Rotting in my head. Hurting so bad, I couldn't seem to focus on anything else. The thought had crossed my mind...I don't think too much about my teeth until they're hurtin'.
    I started loosing that son of a bitch. Every time I wiggled that fucker....lightening would flash, pain in my brain. I had quit drinking a while before. I had nothing to dull or ease that pain.
    When the nasty tooth was just about ready to come out. I needed a break. I looked in the bathroom mirror. There was sweat on my forehead and upper lip. My face was the color of un-cooked dough. I sat on a little stool of my daughters.
    My wife said, "almost mid-night, emergency room dental. Cha-Ching!"
The cha-ching, meaning that it was gonna cost some money.
    I said, "Baby, just give me a second. This Mother Fucker is about to come out".
A half a minute later I was laying that rotten fucker on a white wash cloth I had ripped in half. The other half I had rolled up into little pieces to shove in the hole I now had in my jaw.
     She spoke again, "I always heard you were some kinda bad ass. Now I'll give it to you".
    I quickly answered that with, "Fuck that! That was the craziest fuckin' thing I ever done. Make me an appointment at the nearest dentist to Mertal Beach (S.C.). Book us a room! I'm taking a week off and having some work done on my teeth".
     ....and so it went down like that.

    For the last few years I been telling people, "pulling my own tooth is the worst pain I ever felt"....
    Then last night she reminded me.
"Slamin' in the Park"

    This was a death metal concert at a place called Warsaw Park. North of Detroit somewhere. Neither of us were too much into death metal. Demons gargling flem. "Fuck That"
    But I was restless. Had some orange mico dot acid. I wanted to trip out with my woman. Do some people watching. I had seen the poster for the show. There was suppose to be an all female/vampire, kinda hot, short skirt wearin' band there. This intrigued me to a certain degree. I rolled about eight joints of some good smoke I had. Took that acid. Stopped at a liquor store, brought me a pint of "Crown Royal". I was all fuckin set.
    We get there. I meet this guy that has some, "Bevis and Butthead" blotter. (acid)
So.....
The micro-dot was cookin'. Never-the-less, my brain wasn't exactly where I wanted it to be.
So I brought about a half a dozen hits of those blots. I took two right away.
    That shit started to kick in. I smoked one of those joints. Had a few sips of that whiskey.
I was doing alright....so far.
Then right before the concert started. The spirit moved me. I wanted to get up on some lovin' from my Girl.
    She says, "NO! fuck you. Not here! Not with all these people around this van!"
    So being fucked up on my ass, trippen' balls.
I get up on top that van. I start yelling at all these, pale...long black haired mother fuckers.
    "Get the FUCK Away from  my god-damn Van. Get your bottom feeding, low life, never see the light of day, scum sucking asses away from my Mother Fuckin' TRUCK!"
     That when I fell head first off the top of my van.
     To save myself a broken neck....to keep from getting tangled up, and messed up worse by the passenger door that was open.
Well....I tried to twist in mid-air like a cat.
This probably did save me from breaking my neck. Killing myself....or worse, ending up like that guy that played "Superman" and fell off a horse.
But I still fucked myself up pretty bad.
I hit that ground with my left shoulder like a bag of wet cement. Now that was some PAIN!
    All sound went out. I wanted to shit, piss, puke, and have a fuckin' seizure....I was very wobbly. I Stood up, shakin'- feelin' all this hurt. I told myself...get control of your bodily functions. (I think like that when I'm trippin")
    I finally reeled it in. Felt the bones poking up in my shoulder.....and thought FUCK!
    The van was all jammed in with other peoples cars and trucks. We -NO WAY in holy hell could move till that damn concert was over.
    I got in and laid down on a piece of carpet and pad I had in back. I install carpet.
    I smoked six of the seven joints I had left. I would have smoked all seven. I dropped one and didn't feel like looking for it right then.
I drank the rest of that "Crown Royal". None of that shit seemed to do much to ease that pain.
    When we finally got out. My girl says, "You gotta go to the hospital"
    I said, "I been payin' into that workmans comp. for so long....big money. I'm gonna try to hold off to Monday mourning. Go in, pick up my job. Then hit the hospital...and claim shouldering that big piece of rug fucked me up"

     This was Saturday night.
      It was very late when we got home.
      I managed to sleep for about three or four hours. Then I woke up. Howling with hurt.
     Yep, I went to the hospital right then.
      I was pretty messed up.
      My bones still ain't right in that shoulder....and that was some years ago.

anyway,
After being reminded of that.
I never say,
"Pulling my own tooth is the worst pain I felt."
The worst pain I felt was,
Slamin' in the Park