I'm not really a man-hater but I really am not boy crazy, too. And sometimes, others would mistake my lack of curiosity about boys as a sign of a different gender preference not realizing that I was simply just uninterested.
When I was in high school, a girl courted me because she thought I was into girls. I was amused but my parents weren't. Especially my mother.
"Why don't you grow your hair long, Ayn? Kaya ka nililigawan ng kapwa mo babae because you always wear your hair like that!" my mother had lamented.
"Mom, chill, will you? Besides nagkausap na kami and we have cleared the misunderstanding – she thought I was into girls and I told her I am not and we're cool."
"Anong cool? My God, Ayn, is it too much to ask my daughter to be feminine for once? Why are you so into sneakers, t-shirt, and denim pants? Sa dinami-dami ng damit mo, puro gan'un ang palagi mong suot!"
"Because they are more comfortable, Mom—"
"Is that really the reason why you dress the way you do? Because you find your kind of clothes comfortable? Are you sure you're not a lesbian?"
I had stared incredulously at my mother. If there are two adjectives to describe my sexuality it would be straight and impassive. "My God, Mom, seriously? Clothes don't make anyone gay. Besides, if I am into girls I wouldn't even hide it."
"H'wag na h'wag kang magkakamali, Ayn. I tell you! Naku, I will disown you! I did not nearly die giving birth to you just so I can watch you turn yourself into a boy!"
I had actually thought of pranking my mom by asking someone to play as my girlfriend. But, it would probably cause my mother's cardiac arrest so I abandoned the idea.
"O, anong nangyari at ang haba n'yang nguso mo?" Manang Mely asked as soon as my sister and I stepped inside the house. "At bakit umiiyak si Enid?"
"Ate...I'm going upstairs to...my bedroom," my sister mumbled sniffling.
"Okay," I replied with an indulgent smile.
I watched my sister take the stairs before pulling Manang Mely's blouse over my head.
"Itong batang 'to, basta na lang naghuhubad. Pagagalitan ka na naman ng Mommy mo n'yan kapag nakita ka."
"Manang, I am wearing a sando, remember?" I said handing her blouse back to her. "Salamat po rito sa damit n'yo."
"Ano bang nangyari at sino bang pinuntahan n'yo?" she asked following me to the kitchen. "N'ung umalis kayo rito ay 'yung kapatid mo lang ang mainit ang ulo, bakit naman parang pati ikaw ay high blood na rin?"
"We met this kid and his jerk of an uncle," I said opening the refrigerator to grab a can of soda.
"Iinom ka na naman nang diretso d'yan?" Manang Mely asked. "Teka, ikukuha kita ng baso."
I pulled the can's tab then took a gulp.
"Naku, itong batang 'to talaga."
"Manang, soda in can is meant to be drank straight from the can no matter how unladylike that is according to Mom."
"Ang gusto lang naman ng Mommy mo ay maging pino ang kilos mo kasi siyempre babae ka."
"Manang, anong petsa na? 21st century na po tayo ngayon. Allowed na ang mga transwomen sa Miss Universe pero si Maria Clara pa rin ang basehan natin kapag sinabing Dalagang Pilipina? Wala na po tayo sa panahon nina Padre Damaso where a woman's worth is measure by how clean her house is, how well she's taking care of her husband, and how many children she gave birth to. We are done waiting for our men at home because we'd rather be in the forefront enjoying our own careers than being our family's caregivers."
