Upside Down [mxm] [editing]

Chapter 7

Alex woke to an empty bed.

His fingers had stretched out across the absurdly high thread-count sheets to find the warm body which should have been there. Instead, he found only wrinkled fabric which was cool to the touch, meaning that not only was Julian not in the bed, but it was very likely he wasn't in the apartment at all.

And why would he be? He was, as Alex kept having to point out, exceptionally married. From what Julian had said, as well, he was happily married. He found satisfaction in Dick as his husband and Alex and Dick Jr. as their children. So why had he come to Alex's apartment last night? And why had they gone straight from the front door to the bed?

Well, Alex knew the answer to the last one. They'd always been fantastic together in bed. Sex, rarely, was so bad that it wasn't worth standing - at least not if you were doing it right. But with Julian, it was something beyond the pale. For all that they had very different opinions on many different topics, and especially where the other stood on that big one, they were completely in sync when they were together. Last night had been no different. There'd been no butterflies or shy laughter, just the remembered ease of one another, the relief of it, of being together again.

Groaning Alex snagged at the pillow Julian had slept on and pulled it close, burying his face into the fabric so as to catch the last wisp of his scent. It had been so easy to fall asleep the night before, curled around the only man who had ever completed him, Julian's skin warm and damp from the shower they'd taken before falling back into bed. Just being able to hear his heartbeat, to feel the soft rise and fall of his chest, it had been the happiest that Alex had found himself in a long time. It also filled him with unfathomable regret.

How many years had he missed this? How long had he put his career first - and it was an amazing one - causing him to miss the possibility of this moment potentially forever? And now, now he'd had the moment right there, within his reach, and once more it was gone. Alex thought that Julian was done hurting him, that he'd managed after all those years to get over what had happened, but maybe you couldn't ever get over something - or someone- like that.

Just as Alex was getting ready to fully fall into the pit of despair and self-pity, he heard keys at his front door as the deadbolt slid back. Sitting up quickly, sheets falling away to leave him a rumpled yet muscular man with a swimmers build, Alex looked towards his front door with complete and utter confusion. A look that only intensified as Julian sauntered in like he owned the place, white take-out bag clenched between his teeth, two cups of coffee in one hand, and Alex's keys in the other.

"Mmmph." Julian started, before setting the keys into their bowl by the front door and taking the bag out of his mouth. "Morning Handsome." He was beaming, that truly happy smile that Alex had managed to conjure now and again when they were younger, but that was rare enough seeing it make Alex's heart pound. "I had to bring Alexandria to school. Did you see my note?"

Alex, for his part, continued to look dumbly at the man striding across his apartment. "Note?"

"Yeah. Nightstand."

Leaning back Alex grabbed at it, and sure enough in Julian's doctor scrawl were words Alex had long ago learned to decipher. Taking Alex to school. I'll grab scones. Love you. Jules. Still speechless, Alex looked from the note in his hand to the other man and then back again. "You didn't just leave?"

There was sharp laughter from Julian in response, as he set his coffee down and handed Alex's over. "Well, I did leave." Leaning down he caught Alex's still slightly opened mouth in a kiss. "But now I'm back."

"You're back." Eager for more affection (when did he become such a slut?) Alex craned his neck up for another kiss. And then another. Until Julian somehow wound up straddling Alex's lap and gasping for air.

"Your coffee is gonna get cold." Julian chided, or some semblance of a chiding as he ran his hands over Alex's chest.

"You didn't come back last time." The words were spoken in a voice that broke, filled with a pain so deep Alex had figured he'd shoved it down far enough he'd never have to deal with it again. But there it was, accosting him as much as Julian's broad smile had managed to. "I didn't think you'd come back now."

It was Julian's turn to be speechless. Not because he didn't have words to say, but because of all those ways in which words just didn't manage to be enough. They'd gone at it like rabbits the night before, twice, but that morning their lovemaking was slow and reverent, the covenant which had always remained between them, no matter how stretched, mending with each touch.

Later, as they lay tangled together, Alex's face pressed firm into Julian's neck as though he could just breathe him in, Julian finally spoke. "Don't you have work?" His dark hair was mussed, going in all sorts of directions, the shocks of silver here and there easier to see as the sun shone on them.

"I dunno." Alex sighed in response against Julian's skin. "Probably. Kinda. Maybe." He huffed out a puff of air and nibbled at Julian's jaw. "Might not be a bad idea."

"If this is how the government runs, everything makes a lot more sense now." Julian teased, reaching down to comb his fingers through Alex's hair.

"Hey." A sharp finger was jabbed into Julian's side just under his ribs. "I am not the one avoiding responsibility here. Don't you have a husband? Just where does he think you were last night?" It had been a question Alex wanted the answer to since Julian had gotten there, but one which he didn't dare ask. Immediately he wished he hadn't, for all that he knew it needed to be done.

"Work." Julian responded matter of factly. "I was on call last night. I just didn't sleep where he thought I did."

Rolling over, Alex turned to look up at Julian, so they'd be face to face rather than face to neck. "I don't think I'm okay with that. I can't be your husband, Jules, but I won't be your affair either."

"I know." There was a softness to Julian's reply that only managed to make Alex hurt. "I've never been unfaithful before. You always end up being my exception." Julian sighed, reaching out to grab Alex's now lukewarm coffee and hand it over before grabbing for his own. "I don't know what to do, or how to settle it all, but I'm going to figure it out." A determined look steeled his features. "Can you give me some time? I can stay away until then if you want. I just don't want to rush anything and hurt him more than I have to."

"So. We're going to just be together now?" Alex thought he felt anger bubbling up, but he wasn't certain.

"I mean, I guess. Do you want us to be?" Julian looked nervous for the first time, confidence having abandoned him in that vulnerable moment.

"I have no fucking clue. You just waltz in here, drag me to bed and now we're a couple again?" Alex's mind was spinning. He needed coffee. Thank goodness he had a cup in his hand.

"I don't know. I don't think so. I mean." Sighing Julian pinched sharply at the bridge of his nose, just breathing for a moment. "The one thing I know is I don't want to go back to a life without you in it. I, just, somehow I forgot how you complete me." In any other moment that could have sounded cheesy, but Julian's voice was so earnest that Alex had a hard time not giving in.

"Uncle." Alex replied after a long, silent moment.

"Uncle, what? You surrender?" Julian asked.

"No." Alex rolled his eyes. "Uncle as in that's what they have to call me. I can't be step-dad or whatever because that won't work. But uncle would be okay."

"I'm pretty sure that would make this incestuous, besides, aren't you getting ahead of yourself?" That smile was back, tugging at Julian's lips.

"Look. I'm working out my end of the deal. I can't stand kids anyways. They're." Alex sought for the right word. "Sticky." Julian laughed, and Alex narrowed his eyes at him. "Okay yeah. I guess I'm willing to wait. You'll still come over though, won't you?" He didn't know if he could go from some Julian to no Julian.

"Yeah." Julian nodded solemnly before his face broke out into a grin. "But you may want to give your doorman a heads up. I'm gonna go broke if I have to keep slipping him money to get in."