𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 » 𝐳.𝐬.

29

Z💕
So you're just going to ignore me now?

   
Harry💗
I'm not ignoring you. I don't know
what to say to you right now.

 
Z💕
I could think of a few things.
For example: good morning,
good night, how are you? etc.

 
Harry💗
I just needed some space, Zayn.

 
Z💕
I know... but you can't just ignore
me because of something you did.

 
Z💕
Were you ever going to tell me?

   
Harry💗
I don't think it's something
that I need to disclose to
every person I meet.

 
Z💕
But were you ever going to tell me?

 
Harry💗
Would you have wanted me to?

 
Z💕
Are you being sarcastic?

 
Harry💗
Does this seem like a
good time for sarcasm?

 
Z💕
It was a serious question
because any sane person
would know the answer.

  
Harry💗
This is why I didn't text you.
I have no idea how to respond
without sounding defensive.

 
Z💕
Why wouldn't I want you to tell me?
Do I care that you did porn? No. Do I
care if my friend sends it to me and I
have no idea about it? Yes. I do care.

  
Harry💗
I don't know what you want me to say.

 
Z💕
I don't know either. But ignoring me...

 
Z💕
Especially after what I told you
yesterday. That's fucked up, Harry.

 
Harry💗
I wasn't ignoring you. I told you I needed space.

 
Z💕
What do you need space for?

 
Harry💗
Are you kidding me?

 
Z💕
Does this seem like a good
time to be kidding?

Harry💗
Okay, I think I'm done
with this conversation.

 
Z💕
Jesus christ, Harry. You can't just run
away from every problem you have.

   
Harry💗
I'm not running away.
You're being insensitive.

Z💕
In what way?

Harry💗
In every way, Zayn...

Harry💗
You think you're entitled to an
explanation because you have
feelings for me. That's not how
it works.

Z💕
So you don't think I deserve
at least an explanation?

Harry💗
Fine. My explanation is that
I got an offer when I was at a
really bad place in my life.
I was offered two thousand
for my first video, so I took it.

Harry💗
Are you happy now? Or do you
want to know how many people
I've slept with? How many videos
I did? How much I made from it?

Z💕
I don't need to know everything, Harry...

Harry💗
Why? Is it too uncomfortable for you?
You didn't bat an eyelash when I said
I did nude modeling, but the second
your friend shows you a video, it
becomes a problem for you.

Z💕
I never said it was a problem, but porn
is way more intimate than a photo...

Harry💗
You're saying that like I don't know.
I try so hard not to be ashamed of it,
because it's the reason I'm able to
live the way I do now. But you will
never understand how it feels to
worry what people will say about
my son because of it, or to think
that everyone around me can
see my body no matter how much
I cover up. I'm not running away
from my problems, Zee. I'm trying
to put them behind me, and if you
feel the way you say you do about
me, you would understand that.

Z💕
I know that I will never fully understand
how you feel but I'm trying to, and I can't
do that if you keep pushing me away.

Harry💗
I'm sorry... I'm just tired of having
to explain myself to people.

 
Z💕
I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to back
you into a corner. I'd just rather you
be mad at me then not talking to me
at all... which is selfish of me, I know.

 
Harry💗
I'm not mad, Zayn...

 
Harry💗
I just never wanted you
to see me like that.

 
Z💕
I don't care that you did porn, H.
I truly don't, I just wish you would
have trusted me enough to tell me.

 
Harry💗
It's not that simple, Zayn.

 
Z💕
I know, baby.

     
Z💕
Are we okay?

 
Harry💗
I think so... are you okay?

 
Z💕
As long as you're okay, I'm good.