Don't Love Me ✓

22

November The Twenty First, Thursday.

I read the date on the calendar and sighed, I had only ten days to decide whether I should get the treatment or not, whether I should accept Grace’s money or not, whether I should give myself a chance and live or not.

Today was Twelfth of November, Tuesday and I was getting ready for university with a huge smile planted on my lips as if I did not have a very big decision to make, but I was genuinely happy today, why you may ask— After my statement yesterday of thinking about getting the treatment, Grace was back to normal. She no longer had to force smiles, neither were there any awkward conversations throughout her stay between us yesterday and it made me very happy.

I dressed myself in a floral lavender coloured, flowy quarter sleeved tshirt and a black skirt that reached a little below my mid thigh. To pair with it, I work my black ankle length boots, a bracelet with charms dangling around my wrist and some diamond studs. I left my hair open today, but wore a rubber band around my other wrist, just in case.

Looking at myself before the mirror, I smiled widely and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear— One of the main reasons why I don't wear my hair down, I hate brushing the strands away every few minutes. Hearing the sound of Grace's car, I quickly grabbed my stuff, walked downstairs and grabbed three grilled chicken sandwiches from the counter, two for her and one for me.

She was going to be so happy!

I grinned looking at her as soon as placed myself in the passenger seat and she grinned back because she could smell the surprise. She snatched the paperbag from my hand and was about to dig in, when I snatched it back. She glared at me, but I stubbornly kept the bag in my hand, “It is for lunch.”

“I don't care, I want it now.”

“During lunch.” She groaned and pressed on the engine, roaring the car to life.

Ten minutes later, we were at the uni, walking towards our class with Mr Leo. He was in his early thirties looking young as ever with his short blonde hair and forest green eyes. He took out accounts and even though it was the first lecture of the day, no girl dared to miss it because it was with Mr. Leo, even me.

As we were walking towards our class, we met Joshua and Caden half way through, saying our hi’s and goodmorning’s, we made a beeline towards the classroom, Joshua and Caden trailing behind.

“Slow down for a moment, would you?” Joshua panted and walked faster to keep up with our steps.

“We have only a minute till the class starts, can’t be late.” Grace said, clearly obsessed with Mr. Leo, just like me and every other girl. Not that we, including most of the girls in the uni, threw ourselves at him, he was just a sight to watch. In a building full of old and grumpy professors, he was the only professor who was young and also he taught well, not that other professors didn’t, but he knew when to stop teaching.

Unlike Mrs. Gonzalez.

“You never cared about being on time.” Joshua pointed out and Grace replied with a grin, “That is because not every professor is Mr. Leo!” We gushed crazily like teenagers and Joshua mumble something under her breath, but we were too busy gushing about him that we decided to ignore him.

“You guys are just on time.” Mr. Leo stated with a dazzling smile and we passed him a smile of our own.

“Can never be late for your class.” Joshua muttered sarcastically and Grace elbowed him, not so gently might I add.

“Please take your seats.”

“Is your lap taken?” Grace whispered and luckily Mr. Leo did not hear her remark, but the guys did, hearing from their groans.

“He is thirty two for god's sake!” Joshua whisper yelled, but Grace shrugged her shoulders, “I like men.”

“You are crazy.” I laughed at their talks and was about to sit beside Grace, but Joshua beat me to, probably to argue more, shaking my head, I sat behind Grace and Caden beside me.

Now with whom was I suppose to gush about Mr. Leo?!

“You like men too?” Caden suddenly asked, leaving me startled.

“Definitely.”

“Does that mean you like me?” He smirked, mischievously and leaned closer.

“I said, I like men.” I laughed and pushed him off, but he leaned closer again, “I can show you how much of a man I am.” He winked and I shook my head, taking my attention back to Mr. Leo, who had already started teaching a new chapter.

“What? You don't believe me?” He started trailing his finger on my thigh and as much as I did not want to, the incident from that night in the garden suddenly popped in my brain. I tried explaining myself that he was a changed person now, now he was my friend and he was only doing this for fun and it was totally harmless, but nothing I did or said myself helped me in calming my nerves.

I absent mindedly put my hand over his, leaving him startled, probably because of the fact that my hands were shaking and breathing were coming in short span, or also because of the fact that a tear escaped from my eye and landed on my hand, I was so stupid, why was I even crying in the first place? I knew he was not going to hurt me, I knew he was completely harmless, then why couldn’t my body co-operate? Why did it have to go back to that memory and ruin the mood for the both of us?

Thank god, Grace was not sitting beside me or else it would have been a whole different scene.

“I-I am sorry, I d-didn’t mean to.” I whispered with a shaky breath and pulled my hand away from him, rubbing away my tears and smiling at him.

I could not be stuck on that very memory, I had to let it go and move on.

He pulled his hand away, but I pulled it back and kept it on the previous position-on my thigh and almost laughed out loud at his confused expressions and furrowed eyebrows, he just looked so adorable at that moment.

“Please be yourself around me, don’t let my small mistake stop you from being comfortable around me. I promise it won’t happen again.” He shook his head and lightly squeezed my thigh in a reassuring manner, but it did something to my heart, something I could not figure out what, something I had the slightest idea about, but maybe I was just trying to push back that thought.

It was too early, yet too late.

“I am sorry, I swear I don’t usually act upon my instincts, I just lost it that day. You don’t have to be scared around me, I will never misbehave, you have my word.” I smiled at his gesture and nodded my head.

“Now, where were we again?” He asked, trying to avoid the awkwardness between us and I grinned at him, replying mischievously,

“You were trying to show me how much of a man you are, which I hardly believe.” I even let out a scoff at the end for the extra effect.

“Ditch the rest of the day with me and let me show you how much of a man I really can be.” He probably did not expect me to say what I was about to say and that was the exact reason why he had gone flustered and his ears turned pink,

“Don’t disappoint me.”

•••••••

Have you all checked out my book called Trapped In Love? It's completed as of yesterday.