Xavier (Sugar Baby 2) ✔️

twenty-first: drown

I was quiet, listening to Gray's heartbeat as I lay my face against his chest. His arm reached around my waist, pulling me in closer as he stroked my back. I sighed softly, snuggling against him on the couch, my mind blissful for once.

I gazed, unseeing at the television. It was some old movie that Grayson had loved. I didn't really care for movies much, but he had insisted on a movie date tonight. Being close to him, cuddling into his warmth was making my heart colder somehow. He was still my home, but no matter what I did, I could not stop thinking about Caleb. Guilt racked me from the inside. Every time I looked at Gray, I wanted to tell him. And yet somehow, I couldn't find the courage. I was torn.

He stroked my hair gently, my back, my arms, my face. My body was never devoid of his caressing touch. I relaxed into him and shut my eyes.

"Xavier," he whispered. I moaned softly at the way the vibrations from his deep voice reverberated in his chest, feeling it against my cheek. "Love?"

I placed my chin on his chest and gazed up at him. "Yeah?"

"I love you, Xavier," he kissed my forehead, filling my heart with warmth. "I love you so damn much."

My throat felt tight. "I love you too, Gray."

"You...make me really happy," he whispered. I could see the dim yellow lights from the room reflecting in his enigmatic irises. "And...I think you're perfect for me."

My stomach clenched slightly in anticipation. Gray often showered me with compliments, but something felt different this time. He caressed my face tenderly. "I never thought that I would actually ever be in a relationship again but...you came in and just-" he laughed softly, "made everything so much better."

My heart wrenched in my chest. I was a cheater. I was a lying, cheating, manipulative monster.

"Gray-" I opened my mouth to own up to the truth, my heart thundering in my chest. 

His blissful smile shut me up. He caressed my face gently. "There's something I wanted to tell you," he beamed at me. "Victoria...she says she wants to move on and try to build her own life. That she was thankful for whatever I did and she agreed to file for a mutual divorce."

My heart hammered in my chest, a thrill of ecstasy travelling up my spine. I leaned back, smiling like an idiot. "That's incredible, Gray!"

I leaned towards him and kissed him, my heart full.

He laughed, his eyes twinkling. "Yep," he shook his head. "I honestly can't believe it.

I nuzzled his nose with mine, unable to stop smiling. "Believe it, baby."

He kissed me deeply, our mouths opening hotly against each other. I felt another pang of guilt in my heart. There was no way I could keep it a secret. I had to tell him now.

"And...the Crime branch from Colorado reached out to us, they need some international assistance on this high profile trafficking case," he shook his head, his eyes shining with euphoria when he gazed at me. "And, Luka suggested my name."

My heart seized in my chest, my stomach churning in anticipation. "Col...orado? Isn't that in...another...country?"

My head refused to comprehend. My blood running cold as he continued.  

"I know that it a lot of changes but..." he smiled softly, his happiness radiating off him warmly that seemed to chill me to my bones as if anticipating what he would say. He stroked the hair off my forehead and kissed my temple. "It could be like a new begin-"

I rose to my feet, disentangling from himself and stomped out of there, my entire body shaking with suppressed rage. What the fuck was he thinking? How could he want to rip everything away suddenly when I had finally started earning my own footing?